InAnimete: Part 3 - He Is My Master

How do I try to even go about talking about the problems I have with HIMM? Well, let's start with a discussion of Lolitas and fanservice. I'm going to come across as a creep, but these are the pains I endure to entertain you, my non-existant readership (not a joke, by the way. As of 19/08/14, there has literally not been a single view of a single InAnimete article of mine. Which is, admittedly a handful less than I would like).

ANYWAY, fanservice and Lolitas. I don't like objectification of extreme sexualisation of anyone in my media. There. That may clash with your ideas, it may fit right in line. Whatever. But when that figure is underage, it's especially awkward (underage by Aussie standards, for the record, under 18). When said fanservice characters are 16, I'm uneasy, but...I sort of get it? I mean, these are young adults. There are 16 year olds who can look like 18 year olds, of either gender. Uneasy, but at least a little comprehendable. When it's a 14 year old? OK, I'm full on uncomfortable. I really don't get that. They're a kid. That's just creepy. When they're 5 goddamn years old, I just don't fucking get it. That's just fucked up.

And so enters He Is My Master. If that passage didn't count as such, then consider this your warning:

This is the worst anime I have ever seen.

There.

OK, I should probably explain that a bit. No, this doesn't have the worst plot, not the lousiest characters, nor the most meandering storyline nor even the most fanservice. But when all four factors, and many more come together, it just becomes the absolute worst thing I've ever seen. Let's look at why, shall we?

"Plot"

There. I called it a plot. Now no-one can say I wasn't generous to this hunk of junk. Story goes that creepy teenage millionaire orphan, let's call him "Master", tricks two teenage girls, let's call them "Fetishy" and "Blondie" (my sincere apologies to both the American and Spanish bands who incorporate that word into their names)  into becoming his maids, complete with fetish-y maid outfits (to be perfectly honest, they aren't THAT bad by animaid standards, but the show calls attention to how sexy they are repeatedly, so I think they're meant to be more showy than they actually are). Complete with their alligator, let's call him "Irwin", because as an Aussie I know that'll fuck with someone and the token lesbian pervert, let's call her "Anna", because her name is Anna and I actually remember that because it comes out of nowhere, they live together. Damn. That's...it.

"Characters"

Master:

Now when I say that Master is the most interesting character of the lot, I don't mean to say I like the little fucker. He's a pervert, a creep, and just generally horrible. He, as a character, has no redeeming features and I detest him. His most admirable trait? What he isn't. He isn't every master ever. He isn't generic, he isn't kind hearted, he isn't overwhelmed by this accidental harem he's ended up in. Not in the slightest. Using every kind of manipulation and cruelty, he's trapped the female cast in his mansion through debt-slavery (Japan, you and I are going to have to have a long chat about how, as the son of a nation formed largely from people forced to travel half-way around the world for small crimes, debt-slavery isn't just a cliche, it's outright uncomfortable. And I'm not even from a country that (legally) had actual slavery*!). Master isn't Hayate. Master isn't Kid Hanauykyo. Master is a fucked up little brat. And I admire the writers (enjoy that bone, creepers) for breaking some molds with him.

He's a fucked up little monster, and every time he came close to horrible, horrible death, I was rooting for death. The possibility of character death is probably my favourite character. He's spoilt, he's manipulative, thankfully no-one likes him, to throw a little bit of realism in there, and he's just the biggest prick in the history of maid anime, bar none. Just...fuck that guy. Done.

*Queensland not included. Queensland should never be included.

Fetishy: 

Yeah, there's probably an argument to be had that I'm not exactly helping with my complaint that this character is objectified by essentially naming her after how she is meant to appeal to the viewer, but that's the "joke". The characters in these animes have so little characterisation, or are so forgettable I can surmise them in one word. If I can't summarise them in one word, then clearly they're so forgettable I've forgotten them altogether or they actually have characteristics.

Anyway, I don't call Fetishy Fetishy simply because well...she dresses in a maid outfit everyday (also, the describes 3/5ths of the main cast), but rather because she works with Irwin as a fetish idol, which is a pretty good contender for "most uncomfortably awkward plot element". I just don't get it. It's really a strange angle. I'm not saying HAVING that particular fetish is in any way wrong or weird, it just is a really odd way for the plot to go. If I had the patience/self-hate required to wrangle the manga, I'd see if they ever actually say anything about how or why Fetishy becomes a fetish idol. I hardly remember why it was so in the anime, but I remember it being contrived and slap-dash. 

Fetishy is intended to be the protagonist of the anime, but I really feel this element fails. Although I'll argue that many anime protagonists fail because they are far too viewer-insert, Fetishy fails for the opposite reason, really. She's kind of distant. There really isn't any sense of being on board with her decision making or following her train of logic. Everything comes as the worst kind of surprise. I really can't stand Fetishy at all.

Blondie:

Here's the obtuse, head in the clouds dreamer who seems to secretly run the show. Blondie is about as creepy as Master, although at least she seems to be taking creepy photos of her sister more for some kind of dream-logic blog diary than for sexual pleasure, which I guess is a step up. Kinda.

She has a bodyguard made up of high-school kids, keeps using her sister as some kind of bartering chip with Master...um, she owns Irwin...she's the younger sister...I got nothing. I remember so fucking little about this character, other than that she arbitrarily causes conflict so as to give episodes a purpose where they had none. I think the premise is she wants Master and Fetishy to end up together, so tries to get them to connect, but it fails at everything it tries. I can't say I hate Blondie, because that would imply there's enough of a character to have emotions towards them. Meh.

Irwin:

It's an alligator. It's clumsy. It's part of Fetishy's show. It's attracted to Fetishy. Its clumsiness forced the girls into slave labour. It's stupid. We're done here.

Anna:

I think I like Anna's character? Maybe? Well, she starts out the shy class-crush (other than Blondie) who falls for Master, mistaking his creepy voyeurism for affection (which was a clever montage. I liked that, actually). Due to "winning" a competition to become his maid, she also joins the harem, but falls in love with Fetishy. Suddenly she goes from Nadesico to perverted lesbian, and she is probably the highlight of the show. Her running plot of trying to learn Dutch to take Fetishy to Holland so they can get married is a fun one.

She's both the female counterpart to Master but also is the foil for his plans, making sure that everything unravels for his creepy bullshit. I'm kinda torn on Anna. She seems pretty light-hearted and fun in theory, but just the fact she's appearing in a show drenched in as much perverted bullshit as HIMM makes me think what I take for fun was meant to be fanservice. That might be one of the key problems; considering I really can't stand the art style, I'm not 100% sure what's fanservice and what isn't. Is the French lady who doesn't know what the word "consent" means meant to be fanservice? I really don't know. Overall, I just don't get this show. Wait, Anna. I was talking about Anna.

Anna is there. She's fun as a character, and not just in theory like goddamn Master, and in a better show, she would really shine as lighthearted comedic relief. Here, she just becomes part of the sludge that is this show. She kinda just ends up being the token lesbian, as much as I hate to say it.

Others:

The Parents:
They're just the creepiest thing to happen to this show. The father is, and I wish to stress I'm not exaggerating for comedic effect, sexually attracted to his own daughters and wishes for them to return home with him. I can't fathom how that's meant to fit into any kind of comedy. That's just sick in any media or setting.

The mother isn't much better, wishing for Fetishy to marry Master for a variety of reasons, money being the primary one if memory serves. These parents are just foul, and I can't even comprehend how I'm supposed to react to them, let alone how I do react to them.

The Little One:
The sisters have a young (5 year old) relative who comes to visit. Everyone is out so Fetishy tries to hide her. Master finds her and dresses her up in a maid costume for his own perverted interests. Euch. The girl seems nice enough. Kinda generic, and this is from a guy who normally gives easy points to kids in anime. I'm just a softie, I guess, and have a hard time calling any kid "unrealistic" in a medium like anime. Karen just doesn't really do much.

There's a cousin who's exactly as creepy as Master, and the only real differences are that he's poor and crossdresses, the latter of the two I don't recall being handled exactly tactfully.

There's an heiress...who has a horse...and takes Master's mansion...I don't really remember/care. They were poorly conveyed characters.

Conclusion:

Fuck this show. This show had no redeeming features. It's not "edgy" enough to be considered some kind of parody, it's to cliched to be considered mold breaking. It's to fanservicy to be taken seriously, but the art is too shoddy to be considered outright porn. The story is horrible, but is central to the last few episodes. The characters are almost all despicable, but are the main "draw" of the show. There is no reason to watch this. Hell, the fetishes are so generic you could find more titillation stuff anywhere. For the love of Christ, just don't watch this. It's not so bad it's good. It's just garbage of the lowest capacity. I watched this anime to the end, and I don't even have bragging rights for doing so, as I'm hesitant to admit to anyone I'm even familiar with the show's existence. An utter waste of time.

Next time, on InAnimete, we look at a much better maid anime in Kamen no Maid Guy, the last of the maid anime's I've actually seen beginning to end.

Cheers for reading,
H. Rourke

InAnimete: Part 2 (continued once again) - Hayate no Gotoku (...and the rest/Conclusions)

Well, before I start, I have to give myself a hearty congratulations for reaching over 2500 views! This was pushed over the edge by 52 Turkish readers who stopped by...in one day...when 50 views is a solid haul for a month let alone a day...and Google claims they somehow didn't actually read any articles...but thanks all the same!

Now, back to anime. I haven't decided yet if this is to be the final part of the Hayate trilogy, or to extend it to a fourth part to give some concluding statements. I guess we'll see after I say what I have to say here, and see what's been said and not said. Anyway, the remainders of the cast.

Ayumu Nishizawa:
You see that name right there? Forget you ever saw it. This is my discussion of Hamster. That is her name. Don't ask me why. You'll find out when you watch Hayate no Gotoku. Which you should be doing. Right. Now. Forget this garbage. Go here. Enjoy. Forget this blog exists. Run! Be free! Still here? Fine. I'll presume you've already seen it.

I fucking adore Hamster. Without a single doubt, I call her my favourite character in the series. Do I ship her and Hayate? No goddamn way. Hayate's a creepy bastard with no standards. Hamster can do better than that. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hamster is a student at the high-school Hayate attended before the events of the anime, and she represents a connection to the life Hayate wanted to lead. She represents normality, stability, reliability and everything that is ordinary. By that logic, you would think she would be boring. But she really isn't. Hamster is a regular person (by anime standards, obviously) who is just infused by an inhuman drive towards everything. Be it Hayate, her work, Hayate, showing up Nagi, Hayate, Hayate or even Hayate, Hamster gives it her all.

As you can probably see, Hamster is obsessed with Hayate, and that's...still a shame. I AM employing double standards considering that I had issues with Hina's identical obsession, but...I don't know. Everything Hamster does seems much more natural with Hayate than Hina does. Hina seems constantly enraged at Hayate, every encounter being in some way cringeworthy. Hamster? Yeah, sometimes the same is true, but only sometimes. Far more often her time with Hayate is just...stuff. Fun, pointless stuff. Just...stuff. I like that. Hamster comes across as far more human than any other cast member, and in an anime this wacky, I really appreciate an unintentional grounding influence.

Hamster's relationship with Hina is equally interesting. The two meet, and Hina perceives them as rivals for Hayate's affections, despite the two getting along great. Hina passionately confesses that they are after the same thing...and Hamster's fine with it. She's relaxed, eager to see how things turn out. She won't let her Hayate hunt get in the way of a good friendship. Despite having some odd priorities regarding a dog-faced kid in a butler uniform, Hamster knows what's important.

Overall, Hamster is just awesome. She's human, flawed like a human, not uber-rich (yes, I'll bring class-struggle into anime. Hayate's just the illusion of class mobility. There you go), and just is nice to people. I don't have a deep emotional reason for calling Hamster my favourite, but she is just genuinely the most likable character, and doesn't come off as constructed to be lovable as Hina or Hayate are. She rings true, and that's the best way I can put it.

Athena Tennousu:
You've had all the best, and most of the rest...so here's Athena.

I don't like Athena very much, to say the least. It isn't even a problem with the personality of the character. Athena, from what I can gather, has a good heart and is appreciably lazy, which I have no fault with, but is controlling, condescending, spoilt and a general nuisance. And that isn't even my problem with her. Prepare for the stupid. It doesn't even deserve

SPOILERS ENSUE: Athena was a childhood sweetheart/master of Hayate, who took him to her magical garden castle that was hidden away from the rest of the world and could only be found by those who truly sought it but Hayate fucked up, or more specifically Hayate's parents fucked up and the castle was destroyed and Athena grew up to become the head of Hakuou Academy despite being the same age as Hayate and then in Greece she found him and he had to choose between her and Nagi and he chose Nagi but Nagi lost her fortune anyway but Athena became a child again and now lives with Hayate and Nagi also something about royalty I never really followed that also, magic.

Yeah. I kind of appreciate the anime/manga personifying all the stupid pointlessness in a single character for me to hate, but they give said character waaaay too much screen time. On top of this, the three states we see Athena in (kid, adult, kid for a second time) prevent us actually getting to know her. Also, the fact she may or may not have been possessed by evil spirits the first two states also doesn't help.

I'm not going to bother going on. I'll save my bile for an anime that deserves it, even if this particular character certainly does. Athena, despite being Hayate's kindergarten sweetheart, has no relevance in this story. Every time she appears, there is no real impetus to do anything. She just makes trouble because magic. And betrayal. She's a waste of time in an anime I consider to be very valuable. At least the current version of Athena, kid v2, or "A-tan", is looking permanent enough to get used to (except the last chapter of the manga to date. But that's stupid and shouldn't count).

Y'know what? I think that's all I really need to talk about. There's an idol who only really gets any real characterisation in the manga, there's Chiharu, who's interesting, a few other additions to Hayate's harem, Nagi's parents...kinda...but no-one I feel is necessary to discuss, especially if we look at just the first two seasons. Considering this, let's wrap up Hayate tonight.

Music:
I fucking love the music from Hayate no Gotoku, particularly the theme from Season 3 (the image is slightly uncomfortably Lolita, so a mild NSFW warning). Just, goddamn, there isn't a Hayate intro or outro that doesn't bring a smile to my face. I haven't seen an anime yet with a soundtrack as good as Hayate, although Code Geass comes a little close. That's all I have to say about the music. Goddamn listen to it. Also, each of the 12 episodes of season 4 has a unique opening, and they're all worth hearing.

Conclusions:
OK, I love Hayate no Gotoku. This is not a trick statement. Everything I've said outside of the discussion of Athena must make this obvious. Why? The characters. The sense of childlike wonder in the stories and setting. The knowing parody of more self-important maid anime the series toys with. The light sense of meandering which is so rare in most anime. Hamster, just by herself pretty much. And things I probably can't even put into words. I adore this show. No, it's not my favourite. Considering the subject matter and the people I talk with, it probably isn't even one of my easiest recommendations, either. But it is an anime I'll always want to watch to make me forget everything else.

Now, let's have some real negativity before we go. No matter what I say, I still believe that you, anonymous Internet denizen, should watch and enjoy this show without shame or qualification.

Light issues I have include the fact Hayate has no personality. That's not that big an issue. The stories get a little to fluffy sometimes, and I sometimes feel just a little more story could help. Look at the story-heavy season 3, which was amazing. They can pull it off, and I like it when they do. Again, not a big issue.

The only big issue I have? Fanservice. No, it's not heavy. No, it's not graphic. The issue is that some of these characters really feel like they were designed to be Lolita fanservice. Nagi and Isumi particularly. The fanservice isn't the most blatant or uncomfortable of all anime I've seen, but it's there. And this bothers me because of how Hayate is trying to take the piss out of so many shitty maid animes, and does so pretty well, but keeps this as a real part of the show.

I may have said this before, but I'll restate it here: I don't like sexual fanservice. I can't stand it. If I want porn, I'll go after porn. This is the Internet. If I want really light suggestive titillation of very specific anime characters in very specific ways, I'll find it myself. Again, this is the Internet. It has no place in anime for me. I don't consider myself a prude for this. Sex is fine, but pointless titillation targeted at the audience rather than any in-universe explanation is just stupid. Hayate isn't the biggest offender, but still, it's there.

OK, that's all folks. I'll be back at no specific time to start on the next anime, which is...He Is My Master. May I have a quick and painless death before I have to even think about that trainwreck again.

Cheers for reading,
H. Rourke