Well, I have way more time on my hands than is useful and far more than is healthy. My idea? Make another multi-part post. I've already done the beast that was my favourite albums list, and my favourite songs are far too dynamic to pin down in a top 5 or 10, especially over an extended period of time. I'm thinking of doing something a little more on the fringes of the music industry or literature, or even something unrelated.
I'll just put my cards on the table, because I doubt anyone will see this post before I begin this hypothetical uberpost.
Idea 1. - Australia & Music - A Stereotypical Retrospective
I'm considering going through my music collection and analysing stereotypes and opinions expressed about Australia & it's inhabitants. I've got at least 3 separate ideas to get me started, but I'm slightly worried that I'll never stop. I have a LOT of Aussie music, or at least a fair amount about Australia.
Idea 2. - Music Videos
Yeah, this idea is pretty half-formed. I don't know exactly what I'd do, but I think looking at the hallmarks of good and bad videos, looking at the famous and underrated, and attempting to come to a conclusion about what definitely should and should not be in a music video. A problem with this is that it's very based upon my opinion, which may be less entertaining to read.
Idea 3. - Something about lyrics?
OK, I'm out of ideas. I'm probably going for numero uno, but anyone who feels there is a great idea I'm ignoring has 1-3 days (depending on lazyness) to let me know in the comments.
Feedback Welcome
H. Rourke
Saturday, 29 June 2013
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Unique Merchandise
This post is going to be one of those things that started out as one idea and ended up something completely different.
The original post idea was going to be a gripe about the official Ben Folds website, www.benfolds.com, and how although it seems very expensive and it checks all the boxes, it doesn't feel very intimate. This site just doesn't match Ben Folds style. For a man who has made a career of self-deprecating humor and intimate stories in his songs, this feels so...sterile and cold. It feels like a website never even seen by Folds and created by a publicist.
Although I stand by this issue, there isn't much else to say. My attention turned to a different post idea with a look at the merch store. I noticed an... interesting item, which made me think of some other items I've seen in official merchandise stores. This blog is, indeed, an examination of some of the stranger music merchandise offered in official stores.
The interest for me in many of these items is not so much the item itself, but in how it would need to be purchased. A heat of the moment buy at a concert is one thing, but imputing personal details and waiting weeks (or probably less in the US) for the item to arrive seems like an odd system for some of these items. This is best shown by the first item, which inspired this post. Ladies, gentlemen and most of all, spam-bots, I present...
1. Ben Folds Five Frisbee
For just five dollars, presumably American, you can wait weeks for your very own rather cheap piece of plastic to turn up, probably broken, on your doorstep... with Ben Folds Five written on it!
I just don't get it. I, first off, don't really get wearing clothing with band names written on them, but I sort of understand wanting to show your love of a group. Stickers I definitely get. My "Thermals" sticker, which came with my purchase of the newest album (along with a lovely thank you note from Saddle Creek) is the big decision of my day. On my laptop? My desk? My Discman? Decisions, decisions. But a fucking frisbee? I don't get it.
2. Ben Kweller 2012 Silkscreen
For $25, presumably American. you can own one of a limited run of 500 Ben Kweller 2012 silkscreens. What gets me about this product isn't the format or the limited edition shit. Actually have a look at this product. I'm not a long-time fan of Kweller, and only really got into his stuff through The Bens, but through all my research, that design is not a cover of an album. It's just a rather plain pattern in black and white with Kweller's name and last year printed on it. It's like buying the goddamn BFF frisbee and finding out instead of a piano motif thing, it was just Ben Folds Five written in permanent marker on a white frisbee. It might be neat handwriting, but you feel like any band name could be put there.
3. Scissor Sisters Scissor Dog T-Shirt
...so I expected some weird stuff on the Scissor Sisters website. The red underwear? Par for the course. Scissor Sisters Christmas cards? Why not. I actually really like this store and site. My god, if it had any personality it would implode. Individual and functional. It's everything I want the Ben Folds site to be... with less underwear.
Moving on to the dog shirts. What gets me is the age range. Forgive me for stereotyping, but I presume the majority for this group is young people. The age range I assume puts clothes on animals is significantly older. I can't really make any big remark. The Scissor Sisters have made a career from being individual. How can I be surprised when the do something unexpected?
4. The Living End Scarf
Sure, it's no dog t-shirt, but there is something just a little odd about this item. I think I can put it down to the fact that this scarf is red, white and black with The Living End written in red and white all over it. And yet is is $30 (presumably Australian). I just can't see why something so simply patterned is so expensive. Also, I don't see this group (who, for those who aren't familiar, have a very Green Day sound to them) having that many fans who decide they need to keep warm and make a statement about their taste in music. Besides that, most Aussie scarves are just football team colours. I was debating putting a The Living End stubby holder here, but it was well made, individual and much cheaper. Plus, drinking with this kind of music makes sense.
5. Maroon 5 Wristband
Well, time to move from groups I really like selling odd things to a group I really despise. I liked Maroon 5's first two albums, but modern Maroon 5 (or as I believe Todd in the Shadows put it, Adam Levine and the Maroon 4) is an irritating, repetitive and pointless shill of a musical entity. And as such, they actually get three entries, each winning an award. The first award is the award for pure, unadulterated laziness. This is a wristband with Maroon 5 written on it. Done. Simple, huh? Sure, it has the Ben Folds Frisbee problem of being more of an on-site impulse buy rather than an online purchase. Why do I call it lazy then? Really, it's just a simple idea. My problem: it's $10 (presumably American). I extremely doubt that includes shipping. That wristband is worth 50c max. Putting a piece of shit band name on it does not increase it's value, especially not by that much. Fuck. Me.
6. Maroon 5 Payphone Headset.
You need to click that link. To understand any of what I'm going to say, you need to click tat link and look at that...thing. Go. Now. Do. It. Done? Sweet. So, the second Maroon 5 award is given on the grounds of utter pointlessness. I don't have a mobile phone, so I don't know if it's too light or small, or anything of the sort. What I do know is that nobody carries a goddamn headset with them around town. Why? Because it somewhat defeats the mobile part of mobile phones. So, for home use? Well, I may be old fashioned, but we call them FUCKING PHONES. This device is pointless, Maroon 5 or not. Let's just rattle off the rest. $30? No. Terrible font that is nearly impossible to read from even a short distance? That's there. Finally, a product that is the dictionary definition of gimmick? Well done, Maroon 5 store.
7. Maroon 5 Payphone Single Tee
Yeah, it's a t-shirt. It's a t-shirt. How did they fuck up a t-shirt? The award for this one? The award for unintelligible product. Click that link, por favor. See the shirt? Sure, now I've mentioned Maroon 5 and Payphone, you get it. Now, if you saw someone at school, work, the shops, dinner, whatever, wearing that shirt, how the hell would you work that out? Why is "aroon" too long to shove in there? How does a headset imply "payphone"? It could be any kind of phone! My final question... why is the phone melting? $15. Go nuts.
8. Powderfinger Thongs
Back to good music. What do I need to say? There are thongs that say "Powderfinger: Bless my sole." I don't know how to attack this one. Let's start with the lesser of two stupids. "Bless my sole?" Yes, a pun on the 2004 single, "Bless my Soul." I just... don't know anymore. Now, the big stupid. You can't read thongs people are wearing. There. Let me say it again. You can't read thongs people are wearing. Top: covered by foot. Bottom: Covered by ground. Sides: too small. Best case scenario, you have feet small enough to make out the "Bless my Sole" part at the bottom. Without the Powderfinger part, it just seems like a strange, pointless pun. What more can I say? ....I miss Powderfinger.
Done. I have just one more link today, from the REM store. Mouse over the Americas, and it will say North/South America & Australia store. I'm going to italicise the idiocy to emphasise my statement. If you click on Australia, you are not actually taken to the Australia store. Fuck you, REM store, and fuck your geography. Also, clicking on the non-Americas world will take you to a 404 Page not found error. Why. do. you. have. that. option. if. you .don't. have. another. store. Fuck. you. HARD.
Feedback welcome.
H. Rourke.
The original post idea was going to be a gripe about the official Ben Folds website, www.benfolds.com, and how although it seems very expensive and it checks all the boxes, it doesn't feel very intimate. This site just doesn't match Ben Folds style. For a man who has made a career of self-deprecating humor and intimate stories in his songs, this feels so...sterile and cold. It feels like a website never even seen by Folds and created by a publicist.
Although I stand by this issue, there isn't much else to say. My attention turned to a different post idea with a look at the merch store. I noticed an... interesting item, which made me think of some other items I've seen in official merchandise stores. This blog is, indeed, an examination of some of the stranger music merchandise offered in official stores.
The interest for me in many of these items is not so much the item itself, but in how it would need to be purchased. A heat of the moment buy at a concert is one thing, but imputing personal details and waiting weeks (or probably less in the US) for the item to arrive seems like an odd system for some of these items. This is best shown by the first item, which inspired this post. Ladies, gentlemen and most of all, spam-bots, I present...
1. Ben Folds Five Frisbee
For just five dollars, presumably American, you can wait weeks for your very own rather cheap piece of plastic to turn up, probably broken, on your doorstep... with Ben Folds Five written on it!
I just don't get it. I, first off, don't really get wearing clothing with band names written on them, but I sort of understand wanting to show your love of a group. Stickers I definitely get. My "Thermals" sticker, which came with my purchase of the newest album (along with a lovely thank you note from Saddle Creek) is the big decision of my day. On my laptop? My desk? My Discman? Decisions, decisions. But a fucking frisbee? I don't get it.
2. Ben Kweller 2012 Silkscreen
For $25, presumably American. you can own one of a limited run of 500 Ben Kweller 2012 silkscreens. What gets me about this product isn't the format or the limited edition shit. Actually have a look at this product. I'm not a long-time fan of Kweller, and only really got into his stuff through The Bens, but through all my research, that design is not a cover of an album. It's just a rather plain pattern in black and white with Kweller's name and last year printed on it. It's like buying the goddamn BFF frisbee and finding out instead of a piano motif thing, it was just Ben Folds Five written in permanent marker on a white frisbee. It might be neat handwriting, but you feel like any band name could be put there.
3. Scissor Sisters Scissor Dog T-Shirt
...so I expected some weird stuff on the Scissor Sisters website. The red underwear? Par for the course. Scissor Sisters Christmas cards? Why not. I actually really like this store and site. My god, if it had any personality it would implode. Individual and functional. It's everything I want the Ben Folds site to be... with less underwear.
Moving on to the dog shirts. What gets me is the age range. Forgive me for stereotyping, but I presume the majority for this group is young people. The age range I assume puts clothes on animals is significantly older. I can't really make any big remark. The Scissor Sisters have made a career from being individual. How can I be surprised when the do something unexpected?
4. The Living End Scarf
Sure, it's no dog t-shirt, but there is something just a little odd about this item. I think I can put it down to the fact that this scarf is red, white and black with The Living End written in red and white all over it. And yet is is $30 (presumably Australian). I just can't see why something so simply patterned is so expensive. Also, I don't see this group (who, for those who aren't familiar, have a very Green Day sound to them) having that many fans who decide they need to keep warm and make a statement about their taste in music. Besides that, most Aussie scarves are just football team colours. I was debating putting a The Living End stubby holder here, but it was well made, individual and much cheaper. Plus, drinking with this kind of music makes sense.
5. Maroon 5 Wristband
Well, time to move from groups I really like selling odd things to a group I really despise. I liked Maroon 5's first two albums, but modern Maroon 5 (or as I believe Todd in the Shadows put it, Adam Levine and the Maroon 4) is an irritating, repetitive and pointless shill of a musical entity. And as such, they actually get three entries, each winning an award. The first award is the award for pure, unadulterated laziness. This is a wristband with Maroon 5 written on it. Done. Simple, huh? Sure, it has the Ben Folds Frisbee problem of being more of an on-site impulse buy rather than an online purchase. Why do I call it lazy then? Really, it's just a simple idea. My problem: it's $10 (presumably American). I extremely doubt that includes shipping. That wristband is worth 50c max. Putting a piece of shit band name on it does not increase it's value, especially not by that much. Fuck. Me.
6. Maroon 5 Payphone Headset.
You need to click that link. To understand any of what I'm going to say, you need to click tat link and look at that...thing. Go. Now. Do. It. Done? Sweet. So, the second Maroon 5 award is given on the grounds of utter pointlessness. I don't have a mobile phone, so I don't know if it's too light or small, or anything of the sort. What I do know is that nobody carries a goddamn headset with them around town. Why? Because it somewhat defeats the mobile part of mobile phones. So, for home use? Well, I may be old fashioned, but we call them FUCKING PHONES. This device is pointless, Maroon 5 or not. Let's just rattle off the rest. $30? No. Terrible font that is nearly impossible to read from even a short distance? That's there. Finally, a product that is the dictionary definition of gimmick? Well done, Maroon 5 store.
7. Maroon 5 Payphone Single Tee
Yeah, it's a t-shirt. It's a t-shirt. How did they fuck up a t-shirt? The award for this one? The award for unintelligible product. Click that link, por favor. See the shirt? Sure, now I've mentioned Maroon 5 and Payphone, you get it. Now, if you saw someone at school, work, the shops, dinner, whatever, wearing that shirt, how the hell would you work that out? Why is "aroon" too long to shove in there? How does a headset imply "payphone"? It could be any kind of phone! My final question... why is the phone melting? $15. Go nuts.
8. Powderfinger Thongs
Back to good music. What do I need to say? There are thongs that say "Powderfinger: Bless my sole." I don't know how to attack this one. Let's start with the lesser of two stupids. "Bless my sole?" Yes, a pun on the 2004 single, "Bless my Soul." I just... don't know anymore. Now, the big stupid. You can't read thongs people are wearing. There. Let me say it again. You can't read thongs people are wearing. Top: covered by foot. Bottom: Covered by ground. Sides: too small. Best case scenario, you have feet small enough to make out the "Bless my Sole" part at the bottom. Without the Powderfinger part, it just seems like a strange, pointless pun. What more can I say? ....I miss Powderfinger.
Done. I have just one more link today, from the REM store. Mouse over the Americas, and it will say North/South America & Australia store. I'm going to italicise the idiocy to emphasise my statement. If you click on Australia, you are not actually taken to the Australia store. Fuck you, REM store, and fuck your geography. Also, clicking on the non-Americas world will take you to a 404 Page not found error. Why. do. you. have. that. option. if. you .don't. have. another. store. Fuck. you. HARD.
Feedback welcome.
H. Rourke.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Hudson Rourke
I want this to be the clarification part of this blog. If this blog continues for a long time, and anyone ever wants to know the details of what this blog is about, I'll refer them to the articles at the end of June/ beginning of July, 2013.
I did the "Why?" the other day, so on to the "Who?" Who is Hudson Rourke?
Well, I am Hudson Rourke. No shit, huh? Well, no, my name is not Hudson Rourke. Despite this, Hudson Rourke is not a character, or a persona. Reviewers like Doug Walker and Brad Jones make a point of separating themselves from their characters. Compare a Doug Walker review to a Nostalgia Critic review, or a Brad Jones review to a Cinema Snob review and the difference is immediately clear. Hudson Rourke, however, will always represent my views. Sure, I might overstate emotions and thoughts to extremes, but this is more for comedic value than to make Hudson a caricature such as Nostalgia Critic or Cinema Snob.
There really isn't anything else to say in that regard. I'm a Uni student from Canberra, Australia. I spend way too much thinking about music and books, and I don't have a lot of friends who share those same interests, so this blog emerged as somewhere for me to let off steam about things other people don't give a shit about. As previously mentioned, this blog is only around as long as I have things to rant about. For anyone who enjoys reading this blog, pray I never meet someone who likes to complain about music with me. That's pretty much the "Who?" element.
"When?", "Where?" and "How?" aren't really relevant questions, so let's talk about the "What?" here, because I don't think I can justify a seperate post.
I will review, above all, music. The music will rarely be really bad, as I don't tend to possess bad music. Instead, I'm more liable to talk about decent, but seriously flawed or really good music, as the two kinds make up my entire collection, at least in my opinion.
I also talk about books, as this is the initial reason this blog was created (look at my first post ever to see what I'm talking about). The reason this isn't the main topic is that I can normally find quite a few people willing to talk about books of my tastes, but few people want to talk about obscure Aussie music. However, if I any have any outrage left over, I'll put it here.
Movies and TV are pretty common review topics, but honestly I don't really like either. Movies rarely justify the time required for investment and TV is just getting dumber and dumber. I don't care if there is good stuff, I just can't get past reality TV being a thing (a genre I normally refer to as --- people crying, such as Biggest Loser - Fat people crying, Big Brother - Spoiled 20-somethings crying and Australian Idol - Over-Emotional Spoiled 20-somethings crying). More importantly, I don't have mush experience in discussing either field, and there are a million and one people who can do exactly that.
Well, that should answer that, so back to reviews when I feel like it.
Any questions or feedback welcome.
H. Rourke.
I did the "Why?" the other day, so on to the "Who?" Who is Hudson Rourke?
Well, I am Hudson Rourke. No shit, huh? Well, no, my name is not Hudson Rourke. Despite this, Hudson Rourke is not a character, or a persona. Reviewers like Doug Walker and Brad Jones make a point of separating themselves from their characters. Compare a Doug Walker review to a Nostalgia Critic review, or a Brad Jones review to a Cinema Snob review and the difference is immediately clear. Hudson Rourke, however, will always represent my views. Sure, I might overstate emotions and thoughts to extremes, but this is more for comedic value than to make Hudson a caricature such as Nostalgia Critic or Cinema Snob.
There really isn't anything else to say in that regard. I'm a Uni student from Canberra, Australia. I spend way too much thinking about music and books, and I don't have a lot of friends who share those same interests, so this blog emerged as somewhere for me to let off steam about things other people don't give a shit about. As previously mentioned, this blog is only around as long as I have things to rant about. For anyone who enjoys reading this blog, pray I never meet someone who likes to complain about music with me. That's pretty much the "Who?" element.
"When?", "Where?" and "How?" aren't really relevant questions, so let's talk about the "What?" here, because I don't think I can justify a seperate post.
I will review, above all, music. The music will rarely be really bad, as I don't tend to possess bad music. Instead, I'm more liable to talk about decent, but seriously flawed or really good music, as the two kinds make up my entire collection, at least in my opinion.
I also talk about books, as this is the initial reason this blog was created (look at my first post ever to see what I'm talking about). The reason this isn't the main topic is that I can normally find quite a few people willing to talk about books of my tastes, but few people want to talk about obscure Aussie music. However, if I any have any outrage left over, I'll put it here.
Movies and TV are pretty common review topics, but honestly I don't really like either. Movies rarely justify the time required for investment and TV is just getting dumber and dumber. I don't care if there is good stuff, I just can't get past reality TV being a thing (a genre I normally refer to as --- people crying, such as Biggest Loser - Fat people crying, Big Brother - Spoiled 20-somethings crying and Australian Idol - Over-Emotional Spoiled 20-somethings crying). More importantly, I don't have mush experience in discussing either field, and there are a million and one people who can do exactly that.
Well, that should answer that, so back to reviews when I feel like it.
Any questions or feedback welcome.
H. Rourke.
Friday, 21 June 2013
Notes - Recommendations
Well, it's holidays for me here, so if anyone wants me to review anything, talk about any topic or just has anything to say about anything, I recommend now being the time.
As usual, I don't expect feedback. This blog is like that ever present ad line "For (blank), by (blank)," like "For kids, by kids," except put "Hudson Rourke" in that place. I'm aware that might seem a little childish, in the sense that no-one's reading my blog so I'm going to pretend I wasn't trying to appeal to other people, or might just seem plain desperate to others, but I'm not just pulling this out of my arse, I've said this from the beginning.
This blog has been first and foremost for my own entertainment. I have fun writing my posts, and a while afterwards I have fun re-reading them. I swear, write anything and read it back a few months later, and it could have been written by a completely different individual who just happens to have the exact same opinions you do, and keeps making the same spelling mistakes you do.
That being said, I would like to know other people are being amused (or, more frighteningly, "informed") by this blog. It's like writing a story. Even if you have absolutely no intention of letting anyone else read it, there's always that nagging voice of "what would people think of this?" I mean, other than people who click the "next" button on the top bar of Blogger or my friendly, ever present spambots, I don't think there's anyone out there who even has a remote chance of reading this blog. There's something comforting about that, but there is still the capability of people reading this blog. I mean, Google places this blog 17th for the phrase "Hudson Rourke" and 40th for "Red Television".
....Actually, how on earth would anybody find this blog? If anyone would be so kind as to tell me, it would be greatly appreciated. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the anonymity of the internet and my unchallenged ability to say stupid and offensive things with no fallout. Give me a few weeks to pick a minority to pick on, and I'll get right on that. Looking at you, New Zealanders.
That being said, whatever "that" was, this post is called recommendations for more reasons that to ask for them. Here's some reviewers who I enjoy watching:
Music:
Todd in the Shadows
Mues (he also reviews wrestling, but I haven't seen these and can't really judge them)
Rap Critic
Paw Dugan (also musicals)
Nash (also news items of odd events)
Movies:
Kyle Kallgren
Nostalgia Critic
Brad Jones (also soft drink. Also awesome)
Obscurus Lupa
That Sci-Fi Guy
MikeJ
Nostalgia Chick
Video Games:
Blistered Thumbs Podcast
Lotus Prince
Video Games Awesome
Shamus Young
PushingUpRoses
Spoony
Other:
Ashens (Tat)
Suede (Anime. Also, he's from New Zealand. I'll need to pick a different minority then.)
CR (Kids cartoons, games and a variety of things)
Linkara (Comic books)
Comic Strip Critic (No points for guessing)
The Fanfiction Critic (Exactly what it sounds like. Sadly, seemingly the critic has moved on to bigger things. Still, plunder the archives.)
A quick note afterwards is that all of these are, for the most part, reviewers via video. It may seem odd that these are the people I admire the most in writing reviews (i.e. ripping jokes off) yet I don't make videos. There are a few reasons for this. Mainly, I like my anonymity and any obvious attempt to maintain that would be either distracting or too similar to Todd in the Shadows. I've also considered doing just a podcast, considering my subject matter tends to be music, but I doubt I have the audio quality or content to make that viable. If there's ever demand, I'll rethink, but it's text for now.
Feedback welcome,
H. Rourke
As usual, I don't expect feedback. This blog is like that ever present ad line "For (blank), by (blank)," like "For kids, by kids," except put "Hudson Rourke" in that place. I'm aware that might seem a little childish, in the sense that no-one's reading my blog so I'm going to pretend I wasn't trying to appeal to other people, or might just seem plain desperate to others, but I'm not just pulling this out of my arse, I've said this from the beginning.
This blog has been first and foremost for my own entertainment. I have fun writing my posts, and a while afterwards I have fun re-reading them. I swear, write anything and read it back a few months later, and it could have been written by a completely different individual who just happens to have the exact same opinions you do, and keeps making the same spelling mistakes you do.
That being said, I would like to know other people are being amused (or, more frighteningly, "informed") by this blog. It's like writing a story. Even if you have absolutely no intention of letting anyone else read it, there's always that nagging voice of "what would people think of this?" I mean, other than people who click the "next" button on the top bar of Blogger or my friendly, ever present spambots, I don't think there's anyone out there who even has a remote chance of reading this blog. There's something comforting about that, but there is still the capability of people reading this blog. I mean, Google places this blog 17th for the phrase "Hudson Rourke" and 40th for "Red Television".
....Actually, how on earth would anybody find this blog? If anyone would be so kind as to tell me, it would be greatly appreciated. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the anonymity of the internet and my unchallenged ability to say stupid and offensive things with no fallout. Give me a few weeks to pick a minority to pick on, and I'll get right on that. Looking at you, New Zealanders.
That being said, whatever "that" was, this post is called recommendations for more reasons that to ask for them. Here's some reviewers who I enjoy watching:
Music:
Todd in the Shadows
Mues (he also reviews wrestling, but I haven't seen these and can't really judge them)
Rap Critic
Paw Dugan (also musicals)
Nash (also news items of odd events)
Movies:
Kyle Kallgren
Nostalgia Critic
Brad Jones (also soft drink. Also awesome)
Obscurus Lupa
That Sci-Fi Guy
MikeJ
Nostalgia Chick
Video Games:
Blistered Thumbs Podcast
Lotus Prince
Video Games Awesome
Shamus Young
PushingUpRoses
Spoony
Other:
Ashens (Tat)
Suede (Anime. Also, he's from New Zealand. I'll need to pick a different minority then.)
CR (Kids cartoons, games and a variety of things)
Linkara (Comic books)
Comic Strip Critic (No points for guessing)
The Fanfiction Critic (Exactly what it sounds like. Sadly, seemingly the critic has moved on to bigger things. Still, plunder the archives.)
A quick note afterwards is that all of these are, for the most part, reviewers via video. It may seem odd that these are the people I admire the most in writing reviews (i.e. ripping jokes off) yet I don't make videos. There are a few reasons for this. Mainly, I like my anonymity and any obvious attempt to maintain that would be either distracting or too similar to Todd in the Shadows. I've also considered doing just a podcast, considering my subject matter tends to be music, but I doubt I have the audio quality or content to make that viable. If there's ever demand, I'll rethink, but it's text for now.
Feedback welcome,
H. Rourke
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Advertising - A Review - Turkey Glucose Vegimite Insurance
Well, I'm back for a short moment to talk about something I have absolutely no authority or experience to talk about. No, not music or books - this time it's advertising.
I have been watching a lot of Blip lately, and I think mainly due to my geographical region (Australia), I have had about four ads recycled non-stop, meaning I've had a lot of time to think about them. So, as an uninformed viewer, let's discuss them.
Ad #1 - Man of the Moment - Wild Turkey Bourbon.
I'll try and post links to each ad, but I don't know how many I'll find. Now, for this ad, I'll put my cards on the table. I'm a male university student, which is about the prime demographic for every kind of alcohol ever sold, so this ad should certainly be made to appeal to me. The problem is that I don't drink alcohol. At all. So, to be fair, I wouldn't buy this product no matter how you sold it.
What is the ad? It is a man named Matty Johns (apparently a football player) talking to the camera, asking for stories to be submitted about men who have been heroes or acted responsibly at key times (or as Johns puts it "birded up"). Because nothing says good decisions and heroism like alcohol.
What does this ad do right?
Matty Johns is charismatic and has a friendly, brotherly manner. His setting is intimate, and the ad is well paced, being only 30 seconds long. A footballer is a character who appeals to the key demographic, and it is a very relateable sport, as most Aussie kids grew up watching and playing it. The idea is also very clever. Finding remarkable individuals and pinning your brand on them has always been a classic idea (think of the gifts Marty receives after accepting the duel in Back to the Future Part 3). Finding a person already interested in your brand, who will achieve fame with your brand and will be then constantly associated with this brand cut out a lot of middlemen. Bravo.
What is wrong?
"Bird up" is fucking stupid. I don't care how clever you think you're being, it doesn't work for several reasons. Firstly, just how the sounds. I believe it's meant to mean the same thing as "man up", but it just sounds wrong. Honestly, if I was going to just cram the word "bird" into a common two-word phrase, I'd go with a campaign saying "drink up or bird off", stealing the place of sod, fuck or bugger, depending on the context.
Secondly, the association. To use the phrase "bird" as your marketing slogan, you need to have a much bigger market share on bird imagery. Just think of how many different companies, ad campaigns or even sporting teams have associations with birds. In the NRL alone, there are Roosters and Sea Eagles. Birds, no matter what variety, are very common mascots. Admittedly, it would be difficult to create a tag line using the word "turkey" (which, in Aus at least, Wild Turkey is completely associated with) without just calling people who don't drink cowards. This would be a completely different rant if they did. All the same, there is a reason I spend about 10 minutes looking for a Jack Daniels Man of the Moment ad before realising to tiny bird-turkey connection. At least it was the same product, but that says a little about me, but a lot about the campaign.
Finally, and I continue to write a mini goddamn essay on the phrase, "bird up" is not a phrase that is going to appeal to your late teen - late 20's demographic. Making up a new phrase, even if it can't be easily associated with you product, is a viable idea. Many advertising inventions have slowly become part of everyday language. The problem is, your product is meant to be for "hard" men, and people like that aren't going to use an invented phrase to replace an already inoffensive one. If a bloke uses "bird up" instead of "man up" in a regular conversation, he risks being ridiculed for censoring himself, blindly parroting pop culture or being easily taken in by advertising BS. If I were this company, I'd pick a phrase that cannot be said without swearing and replace it with the word you want to plug. Take a phrase that cannot be used around children and the elderly and put in your product. In this way, people who wish to censor themselves without sounding stilted have a slim chance of adopting your phrase. Replacing inoffensive with inoffensive is unlikely, and being aggressive just pisses people off. Take the offensive, and make it family friendly. Wild Turkey is making an advertising campaign with Australian sportsmen, so they should get used to that.
Ad #2 - Powered by Glucose - Lucozade
The premise of this ad? A bloke showing a series of activities, listing them off and performing them whilst constantly facing the camera in different situations. It's difficult to explain, and I can't find the exact version I saw, but watch it to understand.
What did this ad do right?
Clearly this ad is attempting to match the almost cult following of things such as the old spice ad campaign. The ad may have several faults, but I have to say that, above all, it's entertaining. There was one night where this was literally the only ad Blip showed. Instead of getting bored with it, it took on this hypnotic quality, in which I attempted to learn each of the spoken activities, noting little details about each scene. It has a quality which makes it memorable and distinct.
A difficulty which falls to makers of energy-drink manufacturers it making an ad showing how the product can be fun without being aggressive. How to say "This is the perfect accompaniment to enjoyable activity of your choice" rather than going as far as some ads do, with more the line "YOU WILL HAVE FUN WITH THIS DRINK. You'll dance, then drink, then party, then pick up a cute girl, then drive fast, then screw, then dance some more...". This ad walks the line well. My drinks extend to a single Pepsi or Coke (whichever is cheaper in bulk) a day, but this is the right approach to reel someone like me in.
What is wrong?
Although at points the ad seems to try just a little too hard to be quotable or referenced, I can't really call an ad out for trying to be entertaining. Let's talk about a bigger problem... what are you selling?
I honestly thought the drink was merely called "Glucose", as this is the most spoken phrase in the ad. I only found the product to be something called "Lucozade" after typing several activities listed in the ad into Google. The problem is simple - in an ad designed to become a "thing", something quoted, referenced and parodied, why did no-one stop and think "Do we actually say the name of their product in this?"
To be fair, the bottle is shown in the last 5 seconds, but the name is seriously never said allowed. This is a serious flaw. I watched this ad, but the best way to burn a name into someones mind is by saying it. There are many words spoken in this ad and Lucozade could easily be one of them. Of the four ads I look at, however, I have to say this will be my favourite, so take what you will from that.
Ad #3 - Start With Vegemite - Vegemite
What is it? This ad is of a breakfast being made backwards, by which I mean the film is just played backwards. The breakfast is either Vegemite and avocado or egg on toast.
What did this ad do right?
It's interesting. The food, even something as simple as avocado, is interesting to watch played in reverse, and it's something with a lot to watch. The product, Vegemite, is plugged, but not to the point of it being the main ingredient. I think it's well balanced.
The music is perfect. It catches the mood you want to associate with Vegemite, and is disturbingly catch. Despite the song not actually referring the Vegemite, I think it's easy enough for it to be associated. I have very few problems with this ad.
What is wrong?
The meal ideas seem dreadful. To make it three for three, I don't like Vegemite. I think there's a container of cheap Promite somewhere in my pantry, but I won't be the one to eat it. Both egg and avocado do not spring to mind as good accompaniments for Vegemite. Honestly, I think the biggest problem is that Vegemite is the least appetising object on that meal, and I don't like egg either. Sure, these arguments are sort of petty, but there aren't any gaping logic holes.
Overall, a decent little ad, with very few problems, but not outstanding in any way.
Ad #4 - La La La - Credit Union Australia (CUA)
It could be that I just finished reading the archives last night, but the first panel of this comic comes to mind when I think of this ad. Just replace the middle thought bubbles with the concept of this ad, and there you go. What is the ad? It's a bunch of people covering their ears and screaming "La la la" because they are locked into insurance plans and don't want to hear about CUA's great deals. Try saying that with a straight face (or without a CUA paycheck).
What did this ad do right?
The ad seems very well made. Every shot seems to be thought out, planned and methodically filmed. No, it's not much, but this ad isn't much either. I swear to god, the larger a company is, the less interesting and impressive the ads are. I don't care if you sold your soul for cash, just hire some good PR people. Bloody hell.
What is wrong?
Well... not much, actually. This ad is so creatively void, what can possibly be wrong with it?
OK, it's boring. It selling insurance. People don't want Lucozade style ad campaigns for selling insurance. Something plain, inoffensive and a little interesting (2 of 3 isn't bad) is all insurance companies really need. I suppose comparing this ad to ads for three consumables isn't fair, but I think a point should be made. Insurance companies want to be taken seriously, and this ad... well, I suppose its not not serious... so it does the job?
Anyway, I do have one big problem with this ad. IT DOESN'T PLAY ONLINE. I should explain. The ad provided at the link is again a slightly different version. This means both a different version and a different play speed. This is because the version on Blip doesn't play smoothly. It plays like a video that keeps buffering. This ad just wasn't designed for the Internet. It might seem that my Internet is the problem, but I have watched this ad and one of the others back to back. I have never had a problem with the playing speed of other ads. MY only conclusion is that this ad was incorrectly uploaded. For fucks sake, its an insurance company. It has the money to check this shit!
Anyway, this ad is offensively inoffensive, attempting to target every demographic simultaneously, and suffering for it. To be fair, the best thing I can say about insurance ads in general is "annoyingly gimmicky," so I suppose "dull" is about as good.
Well, I can't really say more than that. If you want to see more ad reviews, either leave a comment or wait a good while until I have something else interesting to say. It'll be a wait. Also, the use of the word "else" implies this is interesting. Sorry about that.
Feedback welcome.
H. Rourke
I have been watching a lot of Blip lately, and I think mainly due to my geographical region (Australia), I have had about four ads recycled non-stop, meaning I've had a lot of time to think about them. So, as an uninformed viewer, let's discuss them.
Ad #1 - Man of the Moment - Wild Turkey Bourbon.
I'll try and post links to each ad, but I don't know how many I'll find. Now, for this ad, I'll put my cards on the table. I'm a male university student, which is about the prime demographic for every kind of alcohol ever sold, so this ad should certainly be made to appeal to me. The problem is that I don't drink alcohol. At all. So, to be fair, I wouldn't buy this product no matter how you sold it.
What is the ad? It is a man named Matty Johns (apparently a football player) talking to the camera, asking for stories to be submitted about men who have been heroes or acted responsibly at key times (or as Johns puts it "birded up"). Because nothing says good decisions and heroism like alcohol.
What does this ad do right?
Matty Johns is charismatic and has a friendly, brotherly manner. His setting is intimate, and the ad is well paced, being only 30 seconds long. A footballer is a character who appeals to the key demographic, and it is a very relateable sport, as most Aussie kids grew up watching and playing it. The idea is also very clever. Finding remarkable individuals and pinning your brand on them has always been a classic idea (think of the gifts Marty receives after accepting the duel in Back to the Future Part 3). Finding a person already interested in your brand, who will achieve fame with your brand and will be then constantly associated with this brand cut out a lot of middlemen. Bravo.
What is wrong?
"Bird up" is fucking stupid. I don't care how clever you think you're being, it doesn't work for several reasons. Firstly, just how the sounds. I believe it's meant to mean the same thing as "man up", but it just sounds wrong. Honestly, if I was going to just cram the word "bird" into a common two-word phrase, I'd go with a campaign saying "drink up or bird off", stealing the place of sod, fuck or bugger, depending on the context.
Secondly, the association. To use the phrase "bird" as your marketing slogan, you need to have a much bigger market share on bird imagery. Just think of how many different companies, ad campaigns or even sporting teams have associations with birds. In the NRL alone, there are Roosters and Sea Eagles. Birds, no matter what variety, are very common mascots. Admittedly, it would be difficult to create a tag line using the word "turkey" (which, in Aus at least, Wild Turkey is completely associated with) without just calling people who don't drink cowards. This would be a completely different rant if they did. All the same, there is a reason I spend about 10 minutes looking for a Jack Daniels Man of the Moment ad before realising to tiny bird-turkey connection. At least it was the same product, but that says a little about me, but a lot about the campaign.
Finally, and I continue to write a mini goddamn essay on the phrase, "bird up" is not a phrase that is going to appeal to your late teen - late 20's demographic. Making up a new phrase, even if it can't be easily associated with you product, is a viable idea. Many advertising inventions have slowly become part of everyday language. The problem is, your product is meant to be for "hard" men, and people like that aren't going to use an invented phrase to replace an already inoffensive one. If a bloke uses "bird up" instead of "man up" in a regular conversation, he risks being ridiculed for censoring himself, blindly parroting pop culture or being easily taken in by advertising BS. If I were this company, I'd pick a phrase that cannot be said without swearing and replace it with the word you want to plug. Take a phrase that cannot be used around children and the elderly and put in your product. In this way, people who wish to censor themselves without sounding stilted have a slim chance of adopting your phrase. Replacing inoffensive with inoffensive is unlikely, and being aggressive just pisses people off. Take the offensive, and make it family friendly. Wild Turkey is making an advertising campaign with Australian sportsmen, so they should get used to that.
Ad #2 - Powered by Glucose - Lucozade
The premise of this ad? A bloke showing a series of activities, listing them off and performing them whilst constantly facing the camera in different situations. It's difficult to explain, and I can't find the exact version I saw, but watch it to understand.
What did this ad do right?
Clearly this ad is attempting to match the almost cult following of things such as the old spice ad campaign. The ad may have several faults, but I have to say that, above all, it's entertaining. There was one night where this was literally the only ad Blip showed. Instead of getting bored with it, it took on this hypnotic quality, in which I attempted to learn each of the spoken activities, noting little details about each scene. It has a quality which makes it memorable and distinct.
A difficulty which falls to makers of energy-drink manufacturers it making an ad showing how the product can be fun without being aggressive. How to say "This is the perfect accompaniment to enjoyable activity of your choice" rather than going as far as some ads do, with more the line "YOU WILL HAVE FUN WITH THIS DRINK. You'll dance, then drink, then party, then pick up a cute girl, then drive fast, then screw, then dance some more...". This ad walks the line well. My drinks extend to a single Pepsi or Coke (whichever is cheaper in bulk) a day, but this is the right approach to reel someone like me in.
What is wrong?
Although at points the ad seems to try just a little too hard to be quotable or referenced, I can't really call an ad out for trying to be entertaining. Let's talk about a bigger problem... what are you selling?
I honestly thought the drink was merely called "Glucose", as this is the most spoken phrase in the ad. I only found the product to be something called "Lucozade" after typing several activities listed in the ad into Google. The problem is simple - in an ad designed to become a "thing", something quoted, referenced and parodied, why did no-one stop and think "Do we actually say the name of their product in this?"
To be fair, the bottle is shown in the last 5 seconds, but the name is seriously never said allowed. This is a serious flaw. I watched this ad, but the best way to burn a name into someones mind is by saying it. There are many words spoken in this ad and Lucozade could easily be one of them. Of the four ads I look at, however, I have to say this will be my favourite, so take what you will from that.
Ad #3 - Start With Vegemite - Vegemite
What is it? This ad is of a breakfast being made backwards, by which I mean the film is just played backwards. The breakfast is either Vegemite and avocado or egg on toast.
What did this ad do right?
It's interesting. The food, even something as simple as avocado, is interesting to watch played in reverse, and it's something with a lot to watch. The product, Vegemite, is plugged, but not to the point of it being the main ingredient. I think it's well balanced.
The music is perfect. It catches the mood you want to associate with Vegemite, and is disturbingly catch. Despite the song not actually referring the Vegemite, I think it's easy enough for it to be associated. I have very few problems with this ad.
What is wrong?
The meal ideas seem dreadful. To make it three for three, I don't like Vegemite. I think there's a container of cheap Promite somewhere in my pantry, but I won't be the one to eat it. Both egg and avocado do not spring to mind as good accompaniments for Vegemite. Honestly, I think the biggest problem is that Vegemite is the least appetising object on that meal, and I don't like egg either. Sure, these arguments are sort of petty, but there aren't any gaping logic holes.
Overall, a decent little ad, with very few problems, but not outstanding in any way.
Ad #4 - La La La - Credit Union Australia (CUA)
It could be that I just finished reading the archives last night, but the first panel of this comic comes to mind when I think of this ad. Just replace the middle thought bubbles with the concept of this ad, and there you go. What is the ad? It's a bunch of people covering their ears and screaming "La la la" because they are locked into insurance plans and don't want to hear about CUA's great deals. Try saying that with a straight face (or without a CUA paycheck).
What did this ad do right?
The ad seems very well made. Every shot seems to be thought out, planned and methodically filmed. No, it's not much, but this ad isn't much either. I swear to god, the larger a company is, the less interesting and impressive the ads are. I don't care if you sold your soul for cash, just hire some good PR people. Bloody hell.
What is wrong?
Well... not much, actually. This ad is so creatively void, what can possibly be wrong with it?
OK, it's boring. It selling insurance. People don't want Lucozade style ad campaigns for selling insurance. Something plain, inoffensive and a little interesting (2 of 3 isn't bad) is all insurance companies really need. I suppose comparing this ad to ads for three consumables isn't fair, but I think a point should be made. Insurance companies want to be taken seriously, and this ad... well, I suppose its not not serious... so it does the job?
Anyway, I do have one big problem with this ad. IT DOESN'T PLAY ONLINE. I should explain. The ad provided at the link is again a slightly different version. This means both a different version and a different play speed. This is because the version on Blip doesn't play smoothly. It plays like a video that keeps buffering. This ad just wasn't designed for the Internet. It might seem that my Internet is the problem, but I have watched this ad and one of the others back to back. I have never had a problem with the playing speed of other ads. MY only conclusion is that this ad was incorrectly uploaded. For fucks sake, its an insurance company. It has the money to check this shit!
Anyway, this ad is offensively inoffensive, attempting to target every demographic simultaneously, and suffering for it. To be fair, the best thing I can say about insurance ads in general is "annoyingly gimmicky," so I suppose "dull" is about as good.
Well, I can't really say more than that. If you want to see more ad reviews, either leave a comment or wait a good while until I have something else interesting to say. It'll be a wait. Also, the use of the word "else" implies this is interesting. Sorry about that.
Feedback welcome.
H. Rourke
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