X&Y

Next time you get home from a long day of anything, do me a favour. Get a glass, go up to a tap and fill it. If the weather is warm, so should the water be. Now, drink it. The whole thing. Was that satisfying? No? Well, you shouldn't be thirsty any more, though. This sums up X&Y by Coldplay:

I honestly feel I could sum up the album like this:
It's not bad, just unsatisfying. The music is great, the vocals are passable and the lyrics are stupid.
75/100
Good day.

But clearly that would be far too sensible. OK, so X&Y was the third release by the band Coldplay, and is almost certainly the most popular album I have reviewed. This worries me. It might end up with someone actually reading the blog! The fact this album is from 2005 and has been followed up by two more albums (both of which I possess, incidentally) lessens this fear to a degree, but I don't plan on making extremely popular albums a forte of mine. Give me completely obscure any day of the week. Anyway, let us push on:

1. Square One
A fitting title for the first song. I'm going to warn you now. I'm going to be going off on some random rants throughout this review, some of which have nothing to do with the album (or Yahtzeeing a review, as I like to call it) just because it is so friggin' samey. Take my comment of the music, vocals and bloody lyrics and place that in the briefs for each song unless I say otherwise. The music Coldplay makes is absolutely fantastic, and is what keeps me coming back every time. The vocals are the definition of meh, but the lyrics...I have never seen that many half formed, poorly thought out metaphors and similes in my life, and I did high school poetry like the rest of the world. The lyric website I use (actually, I just use whatever comes up first on Google) described one line as [incomprehensible]. That sums it up pretty well. The song is about living life (I think). Normally, I'll use the (I think) to describe instruments, because I cannot pick individual instruments for shit, but with Coldplay, I need to use it on the lyrics, because I have no idea what the hell they are trying to say. They mention a compass, a map, ice, a catapult... those four words randomly listed makes a hell of a lot more sense than the song itself does.

It's going to be one of those reviews, isn't it?
75/100

2. What If?
The fifth single off the album. Yeah. This is just another song about "What? You're leaving me? I can be better!" (I think). Now, continuing on my spiel about lyrics. I'm aware that another group with oft questionable lyrics, The Cat Empire, normally gets a pass from me just because of good music. This plays a part, but the main thing is that The Cat Empire don't focus on their lyrics, more on their music and vocals, which move at an extraordinary rate. Coldplay makes very good music, but they focus on their lyrics very much, enunciating clearly and making a point of saying the lyrics like they were Ginsbergian poetry. IT FUCKING ISN'T. There is a line in this song, which sounds a little sensical when you hear it at first:
"You know that darkness always turns into light."
First thought is, of course "just because things look hard now..." and so on, but then you notice the previous line is "Take a breath, we'll jump over the side."
These two things are not related. You cannot make them related. They are very different concepts. And they most certainly do not rhyme, in any sense of the word.

...
75/100

3. White Shadow
Sorry, just took a four day break mid-post. I've got to stop doing that. Or stop mentioning it, so people won't notice. Anyway, music. Now, this song was released as a single, being the sixth single off the album. Holy hell. The only other album which I can think of that did that off the top of my head was Wolfmother's first album, and that was bloody fantastic. Now, I read some reviews of this song on Wikipedia (one stop shop for the lazy researcher) and they seem to put a hell of a lot of thought behind the lyrics. Now, this brings a very important issue to the surface. You can assign meaning to literally any set of lyrics. I mean, theoretically, I could review a Butterfingers or Funkoars album (both fantastic groups with questionable lyrics) and talk about how their lyrics are a clever parody on the over-sexulisation of society. But I would be stretching the hell out of a thin premise. Really, unless a lyric is meaningful on its own, why would you bother assigning meaning to it? I admit, I'm sure there are songs which are my personal favourites, which I am sure I give more meaning to than they may deserve, but I at least try to think about what they are trying to convey. Now, White Shadows.This is one Coldplay song I am not very familiar with, especially for a single release. As this was released as a single, I'm going to look at the lyrics which may have been seen as meaningful. Throughout this song, Coldplay repeatedly refer to a "system"that they are part of. One reviewer wrote that this reflects on their style, seeming to reflect a much grander sense. Frankly, this band's music is extraordinary, being on a scale only a few musicians can meet with.I will never deny that of them. The "system" sounds like it fits in perfectly with the style of music. I do, however, draw the line at the review which claims that lyric is a reference to Capitalism. I don't doubt that politics is mentioned in music,and that Coldplay are somewhat political, but I don't see them portraying the "system" as good or bad, so why would you bother mentioning something political if you aren't going to make a point about it? This is the first song of the album which really uses BOT style lyrics (look at the Day One post if you don't understand the phrase). Some lines are pleasantly descriptive, but come out of nowhere without context. Another thing to clarify: I am not necessarily looking of narrative in the lyrics of these songs, nor am I necessarily looking for poetry, rhyme, emotion or clarity, but I am looking for something which justifies the success of Coldplay. Now, I've been told by some people that I look too much into lyrics, but I also have met people who look into lyrics much more than I do, so I think my judgement is, while not entirely comprehensive, it is reasonable.

All in all, this song was missing much of the grand music I like Coldplay for,but the lyrics were improved. Just to shake things up a bit:
76/100

4. Fix You
This is the second single off the album, and one of the songs I am very familiar with. Although this song is a return to form musically from White Shadows, the lyrics do not maintain the brief flash of poetry. I have two problems with this song. Firstly, the emotions. This is the saddest of the Coldplay songs I can think of off the top of my head, and I don't approve, personally. I think the one thing that Coldplay can put into their songs is a sense of size: songs which seem much larger than the individuals playing the music or those listening to it. I don't know if you would call that an emotion, but it fills the place emotion normally would in other music for me. Although the song keeps the majority of this sense of size, adding sadness makes this song seem much too human. The whole appeal of Coldplay's music to me is that is something almost magical, beyond human emotion. Anyway, that's a minor complaint, but the other is slightly larger. This problem is that the entire premise of this song seems to be "there is something wrong with you.". Now, it is more than possible that I am understanding this song in a way no-one else has because I am missing something. But the very concept of "fixing" implies something is broken. The very first line, for example is "When you try your best, but you don't succeed". Trying hard but not succeeding is not proof that something is "wrong" or "broken" with you. It is a normal part of life. To re-emphasise, I may be taking the music completely wrong, but that is just the message I keep getting from it. Which is a pretty crap message, all in all.

Ho-hum.
75/100

5. Talk
Dear god, we're only at track five? Damn. Anyway, lyrically, this is my favourite so far. Firstly, though, this is the third single off the album. To give some perspective on the amount of singles: there are six singles from an album with 12 (non-hidden) tracks. So, half of the songs on this album were released as singles. Anyway, content. This song is pleasantly simple in its lyrics.Why can't they do this more often. The core theme of the lyrics is just about a person who feels uncertain of the future. Bravo, Coldplay! It took you until halfway through the album to work out that good lyrics are based around very simple concepts! Do you know why? Because people are much more likely to emphasise with a song which represents problems they are dealing with! So...bloody...simple! Besides the lyrics touching on the issue of sibling inferiority complexes, there is not really anything else to say.

It wasn't that bad now, was it Coldplay?
85/100

6. X&Y
I want to talk about a particular topic, but first, this song. Amazingly, not released as a single. This song has unusually goo vocals for Coldplay. Normally they just exist, but this time I think they really meld well with the music. The main theme of the lyrics is "trying to fix something". This is vague, but far too vague. I think the concept was make it simple so more people can relate, but it ends up lacking in meaning for being just too vague. Not bad, musically, but the lyrics just really do nothing for me. Anyway, the thing that has always confused me is naming a song off an album the same thing as the album itself, but not releasing that song as a single. Several bands have done it, most notably (for me, anyway) the Herd, with the song Future Shade off the album Future Shade. All is does is makes the song very hard to google and just makes  the entire concept rather forgettable, especially if the song is particularly good and you only associate it with the album. This isn't done that often. but I still don't quite know what they are going for with it.

Among the best music and vocals of the album, but the lyrics bring it down like a Coldplay branded lead weight.
75/100

7. Speed Of Sound
This is the very first Coldplay song I ever heard, not actually by Coldplay, but being covered by...another...artist (cough...most definitely not from a Weird Al Polka compilation...cough, cough). Now this is the first single off the album, and it is not difficult to see why. This is probably the most famous Coldplay song out there. Although the first Coldplay song I heard that I actually associated with them (and still my favourite of their songs) was Violet Hill (which is off their next album), but to put it in perspective, Speed Of Sound is the only Coldplay song located on my Singstar games (and I own a depressingly large amount. The PS2 is the superior console to the "present generation" consoles!). Now, after reading the reviews from publications placed on Wikipedia, I have one comment which I truly agree with, and one which is utter (what's an underused British term?...ah!) chunder. Now, the good comment is that this song is formulaic. Yes. Yes it is. As is every single Coldplay song I have ever heard. I imagine the only Coldplay song which is not formulaic is the very first one, which developed the formula. Luckily for Coldplay, this is not a bad thing, as not many other bands are making the same kind of music, so they will probably always have a place in people's music libraries as long as they keep producing songs. The comment I do not agree with is that the lyrics to this song are "cryptic". Read: "Lazy". Although these lyrics may hold a meaning deep down, I am honestly not interested enough to spelunk them.These could be anything from an argument to oppose Capitalism, but it also could be just as much an argument for the international use of Esperanto. I don't bloody know, but much more importantly, I don't care.

Looking at these lyrics, this song certainly does hold a place in a Weird Al song...not that I am familiar with such things (cough, cough).
75/100

8. A Message
This song is about telling someone that you love them, but phrase in the most round about way possible. Really, unless they actually didn't use the word "love" or any similar terms, it is impossible to beat around the bush any more without completely changing the subject of the song to "procrastinating about telling someone you love them". This song epitomises Coldplay at their most average. Not good, but decent. Not bad, but forgettable. Just so very meh.

I wonder if it is possible to make an entire song using only the word love or other words containing the word love without it being comedic?
75/100

9. Low
Another not single, the music for this one is very slightly above average. Now, the lyrics for this are very interesting, almost like a parody of Fix You, where everything is going to alright. Now some of my favourite lines:
"You think you'll never get it right. But you're wrong. You might."
Not "you will" or "You'll be alright" (for rhyme's sake). The most uncommitted line in human history, in a non-parody song.
"But all you ever wanted is love. But you never looked hard enough."
Yeah, that's right. It's your own fault that you never fell in love. You clearly never wanted it hard enough!
"But you mean more, mean more to me, than any colour I can see."
Do I really have to comment on that one? Nothing says affection like saying someone is superior to your favourite shade of off-white.
Yeah, I don't have any constructive criticism here. Sometimes I just like making fun of stupid lyrics. So deal with it.

What is it with Coldplay and names that everyone else uses in song titles?
75/100

10. The Hardest Part
This song is very interesting because of what it reminds me of, but I'll talk about that in a bit. Firstly, lyrics. Now, there are a couple of lines which are open to interpretation, but I'm going to talk about the theme which appealed the most to me, which was the concept of not getting involved ("But the hardest part, was letting go, not taking part"). This is interesting to me because the vast majority of music is about taking chances, leaping at opportunity. It is very refreshing to hear a song about just not doing anything about something (and not in a whiny "Damn, I missed out on something" way (a la You're Beautiful by James Blunt)). The music is very interesting both because it is somewhat out of the usual Coldplay mould and because of who it reminds me of. Apparently it takes inspiration from R.E.M, and I'm sure that if I was more familiar with that particular group, I'd be smacking my forehead in recognition, but as is, this style of music (not the vocals, though) rings very similar to Paul Kelly. I was unfamiliar to this particular musician until I got my hands on "Before Too Long", which was a three CD set, two CD's being of musicians covering his songs, and one CD of the original tracks. I can't put my finger on a particular tune this is reminiscent of, but it certainly sounds like something straight out of his repertoire. The other artist this reminds me of for several reasons is Megan Washington. Now, the first thing to say is that the music really does not resemble hers in any way (if anyone was reading this, I wouldn't want confused comments I'd have to deal with). Three things tie Washington to this song. Firstly, she also released a song called The Hardest Part, which is my favourite of her songs (tied with I Believe You Liar). Secondly, the fact that she did several covers during that Kelly concert, most notably In The Middle Of The Air. I will say no more on that song, but just google it. By anybody, really. Tripod did a good job of it. Thirdly, the lyrical theme. Washington has released some very interesting songs, and I think a song about letting things go by and living without regrets would fit perfectly on a Washington album.

My hands and ears are getting sore by this point.
75/100

11. Swallowed In The Sea
Another truly fantastic song musically and above average vocally, but before I say anything else I have one statement to make:
"Line" does not rhyme with "I". No. They do not. Never have. Never will. Forget it. Drop the entire verse if you must, but don't try to pull that shit.
Now, this is another song which has no narrative or emotion to speak of, but it is made up of interesting poetic metaphors (as opposed to those no-nonsense metaphors). The best, which I originally wrote of as stupid and weird is:
"And I could write a song, a hundred miles long,"
Now, I first thought that was a really weird lyric, until I realised it perfectly sums up what I've been trying to describe about Coldplay's style of music. Everything is large, long, high, "embiggened" (if you'll please excuse me using a rather cromulent word). It perfectly sums up Coldplay's music and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who can see it.

Not much else to say, regarding lyrics.
75/100

12. Twisted Logic
It is not a positive sign when a group releases a song about technological development and how the human race is just going in circles and I don't see anything worth discussing in the lyrics. Really, the lyrics are pretty upfront. I enjoy that. There is nothing overly wrong with album filler just being really simple. Anyway, The music is decent, the vocals are a bit sub-par, but, again, album-filler. Not really worth talking about (but, to be fair, since when has that stopped me?)

I think I'm getting stuck in a rut here.
75/100

13. 'Til Kingdom Come
Super secret track! This song is like if John Butler Trio, Paul Kelly, Megan Washington and the Finn brothers did a song together. Please note the complete lack of Coldplay in that description, and for a reason. I would never have picked this as Coldplay, and I think that is both a good way to end the album and good content for a secret track: something that you would never do normally. A decent song lyrically about doing anything for someone.

No comment.
75/100

Well, that cup of lukewarm water ended up being slightly more refreshing than I expected, but just about as hard to write about. Over 3000 words is pretty good, considering I didn't Yahtzee nearly as much as I expected I would.

P.S. I always try to spellcheck these posts, but if you have come across a very strange error, it could be because on this new laptop I'm using, the shift and up buttons are exactly the same size and right next to each other. Thus, often when I wish to capitalise something, I end up writing in the middle of a previous sentence. I imagine I'll get used to it.

H. Rourke