OK, well, it's been quite a while since I've posted here, and my apologies for that. Although, to be fair, it's better nothing than shit. Well, most of my stuff is shit, but at least it's idealistic and enjoyable shit to write.
With that in mind, let's turn to the series I wish to attempt to start with today. 6 months ago, I started a rigorous crash-course in anime. The Japanese things. With the big eyes. And naked underage girls (if that doesn't get me flagged, no idea what will). Yeah, I'm not someone who would call themselves an "anime guy". I fuckin' loved Pokemon as a kid, but that was pretty much the beginning and end of my love for the media. For the past, what, 8? 9? years, I haven't watched a single anime show. That changed this year, when I began a strict 5-episodes-a-day diet (occasionally abandoned due to, well, life or shit anime). The reason? So as to be able to run an RPG called "Maid: The RPG". That is all I'm going to say about that game, other than the fact the series I'm looking at first was taken from the recommendations of the author of that work, Mr. Ryo Kamiya.
The first show, as the name suggests is "Hanaukyo Maid Tai: La Verite". Tai = Team. Yes, this anime is about a massive group of maids. Yep.
Now, before I go on, a few words. Firstly, I'm not going to really take spoilers into account. I'm not going to discuss them unless they back up a point I'm trying to make, but I do reserve the right to talk about them. Second, I'm not a fan of fanservice, ironically enough. I don't like pointless erotica in my TV, and if you disagree, this is probably going to be a rough ride for you, so a heads up. Thirdly, I'm not going to re-watch them. I apologise for any outright inaccuracies, but I'm not going back for names, most of all.
This is a review series on anime by a guy who never really watched anime attempting to surmise and critique series watched 6 months ago. You have been warned.
Hanaukyo Maid Tai: La Verite:
So, context. This series is, as far as I can establish, a remake of an earlier series of the same name, minus the "La Verite" part. I've watched a handful of episodes from the original. The long and short is that it has better music and much worse animation. The characters stay pretty much the same, but get toned down a little in the remake. I'll get onto all these things later, I guess/hope/don't really hope.
Plot:
We begin following a little boy. His grandfather has mysteriously disappeared, leaving this young lad of, let's say 12, in charge of his estate - that of the head of the Hanaukyo family. The estate is a pointlessly huge mansion, which anime is steadily teaching me is a bizarrely common sight in Japan, staffed by hundreds if not thousands of all-female maids. Hilarity and uncomfortable implications ensue.
OK, so the crux of the show is the relationship between Kid Hanaukyo and his head maid, Mariel (yeah, that's actually her name. It kinda stood out.). Mariel appears to be a solid decade and a half older than Hanaukyo (that's his name now. Roll with it), and treats him as a kid...which he is...and he becomes infatuated with her. However, she may have a dark history. Yeah. That's the plug. On to the characters!
Characters:
Kid Hanaukyo: OK, this kid is just frustrating. I really can't imagine anyone with a motivation for watching this show liking him. I'm here to learn a bit about anime tropes and the like, and he just constantly flips between being a conduit and a obstacle for the plot. He spends his time being bewildered by the fact there are people doing jobs around him. Admittedly, these people are...unique...and spend their time doing...unique...things...but this starts to get kind of old.
For those watching for some cheap titillation (not judging, by any means. Who am I to say why you should watch something?), he's a constant time drain from the maids, and he doesn't interact with them in any real way. Even emotionally, he manages to almost constantly keep everyone at arms length. Those few characters who do become invested with him seem to be doing all the work in projecting personality onto him. Have I just described every male anime protagonist? Damn. Those paragraphs are going to see the light of day again soon, I imagine.
I have to give some points in how the character changed from the first version to La Verite. I'd say it's based off a manga, but I've never read it, so discount that from this calculation. In the original series, Kid Hanaukyo was allergic to women. Physically. Not just an introvert, physically allergic. I have to stress this, because in one review, I read the phrase "allergic to women" and thought "huh. Fun exaggeration!". IT ISN'T. We're talking physical symptoms when women touch him. Yeah. I can't quite understand the point either. How did he survive 9 months in the fucking womb?!
Anyway, the remake paired him down to just being shy and out of his element. I buy this hook, line and sinker. He's suddenly on his own (I don't believe we ever find out about his pre-inheritance life. I'd be curious), with a bevy of maids who both depend on him for...unspecified reasons...and expect him to give up a lot of his privacy to be molested. I MEAN serviced. I MEAN... actually, serviced does the job. A lot of this is kinda interesting. Issues like basic habits, like eating a small meal, are contrasted with the maids, used to Grandpa Hanaukyo's extravagance. The things like not being allowed to urinate without assistance and...well, we'll get to the sleeping thing later...they just seem to be in there for cheap laughs. It kind of detracts from the sympathy we're apparently meant to feel for the kid. It's much less relatable. Maybe I just can't tell what they're going after though. That's pretty much all that can be said for the kid. 4 paragraphs? I'm impressed, if I do say so myself.
Mariel:
So, the head maid. Hmm. This is going to take spoilers. Sorry, but Mariel's character, or lack thereof, is in itself vital to the plot, but also the big reveals say a lot about this show. Just skip ahead if you actually plan on watching the show in ignorance.
So, when I heard the name, I kinda presumed a Harem feel, with maids competing for protagonist's attentions. There certainly are elements of that present, but Mariel is really the only legitimate love interest. In the original, for example, she's the only one who Kid Hanaukyo isn't allergic to (having not seen the ending to the original, and thus being unable to spoil it, it's my theory she's a robot. That was my theory throughout La Verite). She's a big sister, mother, babysitter and love interest all in one. No-one tell Freud. He'd never shut the fuck up about this shit. That was kind of uncomfortable for me (again, this was my real introduction to anime that wasn't weekday breakfast material). I guess the relationship is pretty feasible, considering Kid Hanaukyo's ignorance. I guess. I can't say I was really invested in if it succeeded or failed. I just wanted the ride to end so I could get off, I guess.
Anyway, Mariel has one really big problem: she doesn't have a personality. Yeah, sure, that sounds a bit much, and I must be exaggerating. Nope. This is like that "allergic to women" bullshit. It sounds too crazy to be true, but it is. The twist of the show is that Mariel was from childhood psychologically abused, hypnotised and electrocuted (if memory serves) by Grandpa Hanaukyo so as to be a perfect head maid for Kid Hanaukyo. I wish I was joking. Or exaggerating. Or just plain lying. But there's the rub.
Now the other sad part is that that was meant to be a twist. Sure, I couldn't have picked the specifics (again, I'm still kinda stuck on the robot theory), regarding hypnosis and electroshock, but it was pretty fucking obvious from the start that beyond "vaguely nurturing", Muriel had no notable traits. If I can say one thing about the rest of the cast (bar the protagonist), it's that they're fairly colourful. Contrasted to them, Muriel really becomes clearly conspicuous. She respects Kid Hanaukyo's boundaries, listens to him and acts in an inhumanly passive manner. It's not a well hidden secret that people don't naturally act like that, at least the that degree.
Mariel represents the half-boiled maternal figure present in far too many animes, nurturing to a fault and with no other notable characteristics. At least La Verite had the tact to show that there was something really creepy about that. In short, I'm not much of a Mariel fan.
Melon, Lemon, Peron:
OK, full disclosure: I'm pretty sure the third of the trio isn't a former Presidente of Argentina. Although that would have really made the show for me. I just can't remember the third name, and it fits.
Now, if I found Mariel too mild and guilty of putting everyone too far first, the Trio (that's the name of them now) are perhaps the opposite. The provide at least 50% of the fanservice for the first half of the season. The three are the embodiment of the phrase "amorous". They are all over Kid Hanaukyo like a bad smell, and are constantly trying to sleep with him. That's their job, as far as I gather. Yeah.
The characters themselves aren't too bad. They're wilful pranksters, who really just want to have a good time, and they aren't concerned about who gets hurt in the process. They're lively, show childishness that is lacking in the actual children in this setting, and are colour to Mariel's blandness.
The creepy part is in the connotation of what they do. Their job is to have sex with the master of the house. Perhaps it's meant in a more innocent way than that, and I'm projecting my lecherous adult mind onto these poor girls, but that's how it comes across to me. To start with, the kid is waaaaay too young to be in the situations these girls put him in. Secondly, there is no respect for personal boundaries. Sure, that's a part of their character, but it also gets uncomfortable at points. Finally, how is this legal?! I mean, all the maids legally must be paid, fed and housed on site (just as there are no real alternatives). So how do you explain a personal harem to the tax department? Or the union?! What Grandpa Hanaukyo did to Mariel is discussed and condemned, but what the hell did he do to the Trio? How did they end up like this? Why didn't Kid Hanaukyo have them re-allocated when it became obvious what they were employed to do?! (and no, he was not a fan of theirs). I like the characters, hate the questions they raise.
Ninja-Maid:
Yeah, not even pretending to have the name for this one. Probably because I don't have much to say about her (although I said the same thing to myself about all the previous characters). She's in charge of the mansion's security (and the security maids. All dressed in maid uniforms. Because). She starts as a typical hard-arse, concerned with the care-free way Kid Hanaukyo is living, not being concerned with his own security and not understanding the importance of his position etc. etc. etc.
Anyway, she has her heart melted by the young master and falls in love with him, although she knows it can never be. I think both the position she holds and the fact Kid Hanaukyo is in love with Mariel are the key factors here.
Really, she isn't that bad a character. A little typical, driven by honour, revenge, etc., but still is interesting enough. I talk about her because of one line she utters (nothing quoted is an exact quote, just along the same lines).
Kid Hanaukyo and Ninja-Maid are going shopping for a gift for Mariel. At one point Ninja-Maid wishes to cut to the chase:
"You realise you can just order Mariel to sleep with you?"
No. No you can't. She is a maid. She is not a prostitute, not that there's anything wrong with that, but the distinction between the two professions is pretty clear around Mariel (not so much with the Trio, but meh). That line has stuck with me just because of how creepy and uncomfortable it is, conceptually and in how it demonstrates what happened at this mansion in the past. Anyway, Ninja-Maid: fine, but nothing ground breaking.
Second-in-Command:
As with her superior, Ninja-Maid, I don't have much to say about this one. She is interesting as she is the token representation of two areas in this show. Firstly, she's black. I'd be more tactful, but the actual race of this character is never so much as touched upon, so I can't expand upon it. I just say that in passing, with no real comment to make other than that diversity is always fun.
SiC is also the token lesbian character. Her obsession with Ninja-Maid is played for laughs throughout the series, as is her ineptitude, both in romance and in her job. She's a fun enough character, but does feel a little odd. She and the Trio, compared to the rest of the cast, seem to come from a different anime altogether. Not necessarily a better one, but a different one.
The Rest:
It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm starting to drift off. I'm worried if I don't finish this tonight, I'll never get around to it, so we're getting a rush job. In fairness, I don't have much to say about the last few:
The Blond Girl:
The Blond girl has a split personality between a super-genius by night who pretty much runs the mansion's computer system and a near-mute child who likes flowers by day. And never the two should meet. She's OK, a little contrived plot wise but...well...maid mansion, so I shouldn't really be complaining. The "cute" for the show. She's OK. That's all.
The Fiance:
God I got sick of this character. She's a member of a family on par in wealth and power with the Hanaukyos who insists that she is going to marry Kid Hanaukyo for reasons. She never shuts the hell up, constantly bosses people around and is just generally a nuisance. She takes command of the Trio for the majority of the show and that just kills their childish-fun personas for me. Probably me least favourite character, out of a sorry batch.
Glasses:
The mad scientist. She has an element of fun and mischief on par with the duo, and enjoys fucking with Kid Hanaukyo's head, which gets points from me. Her inventions are fun, but she gets somewhat sidelined by the end. I liked her, but barely remember her after the first episode.
OVERALL:
I'm not going to give this an arbitrary number rating or the like, but I will speak my mind...how unusual, right?
The show is terrible. It has barely any serious plot for the most part, has a garbage ending with no payoff, relies on stereotypes and cliches even a newcomer to anime was groaning at. The characters are often shallow and poorly thought out, and become utterly irritating at points. I'm not going to say it's without merit, and it would make a good kids anime if the more fanservice-y parts were cut out. It needed to embrace its juvenile spirit and leave everything else, love, sex and Mariel's entire plot line on the cutting room floor. I can't recommend this to someone wholeheartedly, and that probably tells the story. I do actually tell the story of this anime on occasion, I just refashioned it as a horror story. It works much better.
Well, this is a music blog, once upon a time, so I have to say the music to the original was really fun, but La Verite is just boring.
Final thoughts: It's no fucking wonder Kid Hanaukyo's mother left this mansion. If I had a father as crude as Grandpa Hanaukyo, I'd be legging it too.
I hope anyone reading this enjoyed this, and please feel free to leave comments with any feedback.
Next time: Hayate no Gotoku! / Hayate the Combat Butler!
Thank you for reading,
H. Rourke
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