Well, let's keep on going. More random anime ranting!
So, what is Hakuou Academy? The most expensive, most exclusive school in Japan. So, Ouran or Ashford by another name. But we'll get to those two locales all too soon.
Due to being inexplicably brilliant, Nagi has skipped several years, as have several other students using the power of extreme wealth, so there's quite an age range in a single grade. Sure, it's a bit contrived, but when the moral of the story is "rich people can get away with dodgy shit", I'm hardly going to argue. Also, I do like the relationships which develop between the various students, and I'd hate for a rather pointless level of segregation by age to be introduced, so I'm just running with it.
Anyway, several students are introduced prior to Hakuou, as they are old friends of Nagi. In no particular order:
Isumi Saginomiya:
OK, I said I'd talk about the characters in no particular order, but I lied. I'm talking about Isumi because she's fucking awesome. Although quiet and, well, a diplomatic individual would call her "refined" and "traditional", but really Isumi is shy and really quite awkward. It's just the little things about Isumi that tell so much about her personality. Her refusal to wear regular school uniforms in favour of a kimono. Her insistence on covering her mouth when talking. The fact that she and Nagi have only been lifelong friends because Isumi is the only person who can easily interpret Nagi's nonsensical manga plots. She's fantastic because of her clear-cut individuality.
She also, almost as an aside, is an exorcist with phenomenal power. Y'know. Just because.
As already kinda touched upon, Hayate no Gotoku has a strange relationship with the supernatural. Athena (we'll get there soon) is layered in so much supernatural plot-filler bullshit, it's kinda hard to ignore, and I certainly have mixed feelings about the location of the soul of Nagi's father, but Isumi is personified proof that using the supernatural concepts can work. Instead of it being some character driving power which is at ends with the personality of the individual, Isumi appears to use her cloud cuckoo-lander in perfect unison with the ever-vague "powers". Her personality ensures it will never be used for evil (because she has no idea how to do that) as well as the powers never being explained (I'm aware they're hereditary, but what the powers themselves are is left vague) because Isumi probably doesn't know.
Really, the supernatural element simply injects some steel into a character who would otherwise be a charming but cliche shy wallflower. Also, she's insanely handy for solving plot holes. Why did something happen? Isumi brought it into the city. Why did something cease happening? Isumi fixed it.
In conclusion, I really goddamn love Isumi. On my inevitably list of favourite characters, she scores a decent 3rd place. Why? She's individual, she's charming, she's funny, she's always a pleasant break from some of the more serious/wacky characters, and is a fantastic middle ground and straight man. Also, in the sense of full disclosure, she's adorable. I don't mean in a sexualised way, but she's just really cute. In my defence, my mother collected Kimmi Dolls when I was growing up, so call it nostalgia. Anyway, Isumi = awesome. Also, her family, of which she is the most grounded, is also well set up.
Wataru Tachibana:
We're officially at the point where I would have had absolutely no fucking idea what Wataru's surname is unless I looked it up. I would have gotten Isumi without checking! I just would have had no goddamn idea how to spell it (which is ironic when you consider I've only ever watched subs).
ANYWAY Wataru. Wataru's...kinda meh. I mean, he's the only male friend Nagi really has (and is also her fiance. Organised by their families. Because rich, modern Japan = medieval Europe. To be honest, I don't know a thing about Japan after 1945 (history major), so they very well could be), and that's something, but he's still, most of the time, a bit of an arsehole. I mean, a lot of it is played off as insecurity, shyness, nervousness or impulsiveness or the like, but he still comes across as an extremely spoilt little shit. And this is in a world mostly populated by spoilt little shits, and he himself isn't really rich. He runs a tiny video store with the help of his maid (just run with it), attempting to re-build the family fortune which recently crumbled. And then his parents died, and the kid's had it rough. Still, kind of a dick to everyone. Hayate, Saki (the maid) and (rather inexplicably) Hamster (we'll get to her, even if we cover no-one else) take the brunt of his shit, and really, most attempts to make him more likable fall short.
There's the crush Wataru has on Isumi, which is alright, I guess, but considering Isumi doesn't care in the slightest, and I'm following the Isumi side of the story whenever there is one, I don't end up caring that much about him either. There's the little brother-big sister relationship he has with Sakuya (coming up next), but considering the crux of that is her helping him pursue Isumi, I still never got that invested in him. Really, the relationship between Wataru and Saki is the most interesting thing about him, and he's creepily possessive in that too.
Overall, Wataru just doesn't leave much of an impression. He acts like a dick, but it was for a reason. So we end up as square 1. He falls for someone who doesn't care about him, and I take the side of the infatuee. Back to square 1. He does something. It comes to nothing. And he seemingly learns nothing. Sure, his video story is his passion, and that's pretty well played, but at no point are we given a reason he wants the family fortune back. Is it to honour his parents? Does he want something? All I know is that he wants money, seemingly for no other reason than to just have money. I really can't get behind this kid, and that's all I can say.
Sakuya Aizawa:
Hmm. Sakuya. What to say about Sakuya?...Well. She's everyone's big sister. Nagi, Wataru, her real, rarely touched upon siblings, her parents, everyone. Not Hayate. She has...a different relationship with Hayate. Just...watch the 3rd season for some insight into that. I got nothing. She also seems to be holding down fanservice duty more than most other characters. Case in point . Yes, it's redrawn, but she wore that in the anime/manga. For some reason.
She has an obsession with slapstick comedy, full of references which I, as an Australian, totally get. She's also from Kansai, which is a distinction that I, as an Australian, totally get. Which I'm told is often portrayed as the difference between a Texan and other Americans. Which is a distinction that I, as an Australian, totally get. Or the difference between an American and a Canadian. Which is a distinction that I, as an Australian, totally get. OK, fuck it, I'm gonna pretend she's a Kiwi. NOW I GET THE JOKES. ALL THE JOKES. HA HA HA. And no, I'm not blaming a Japanese show aimed at Japanese kids for having some jokes I'm not going to get. That's perfectly normal. However, I can't pretend there aren't decent swathes of Sakuya's dialogue that I feel perfectly comfortable switching off for.
ANYWAY, perhaps the best part of Sakuya is her evil/incompetent half-brother Gilbert. WHO IS AUSTRALIAN. HE WINS. Sure, there's no inside joke for Australians. And he's referred to as an American most of the time. Sometimes I wonder why I turn off my Redgum and Jeopardy long enough to be disappointed (My stereotypical Australian references: Widely known: Not Really. Timely: Not at all. Awesome: Hell Yeah.). Anyway, Gilbert tries to steal Nagi's fortune, fucks up, get beaten by Hayate and goes home. Pretty cliche. Still Aussie pride!
Overall, Sakuya's alright. She's just kinda...there. Lending a hand occasionally. Being comedic relief. Being fanservice. Being a plot-point. I can't honestly think of a plot arc she has both instigated and prominently featured in. She just fades in and out, without being memorable. Isumi does the same thing, to be fair, but is perfectly memorable, so I don't know what to say. Sakuya: Can't have plot hooks, inexplicable references and fanservice without her.
Now, onto the various members of the bourgeois families which make up Hakuou:
Yukiji Katsura:
Yukiji? Where we're going, you don't NEED Yukiji. I honestly can't think of a single time she's actually been called that by any character in the show/manga. Katsura is the nom de guerre. And by "guerre", I mean everyday life. Which, considering the way Katsura lives, is a fair analogy.
Who or what is this mysterious woman who goes only by "Katsura"? Why, she is the introduction to/best character in Hakuou Academy. Katsura is the drunken, debt-ridden and generally useless history teacher who makes this school for me. Isumi is definitely 3rd on my top characters list, but Katsura takes a sound 2nd place. I love terrible history teachers in any media. Whether they're suppressing a murderous rage at their students or attempting to forget a dark past while raising a young girl in the zombie apocalypse, history teachers are always awesome. Respect history teachers, kids. Particularly in the next 4-7 years, depending on how long an education degree takes.
ANYWAY. Katsura, former punk-rock revolutionary, outshone by her (in-universe, not saying she isn't, just making the distinction) gorgeous, strong, brilliant little sister, who has taken a job at the prestigious Hakuou Academy, who we meet attempting to prevent a suspicious individual (Hayate) enter the school because her pay has been cut too much. And she needs that pay to get drunk off.
The first question is: How the hell did Katsura get hired here? Good goddamn question, me. I got nothing. She works for peanuts? She won't notice the massive syphoning off of funds the principal is likely undertaking? She lacks the morals that would prevent lesser teachers from letting kids buy their way through school? Kauro (fellow teacher, gormlessly in love with Katsura) did it? Probably the last one, to be honest, but any could work.
I could talk about Katsura all day, and I'd be happy to, but it's already 1:30, and I want to wrap this up pretty soon.
Katsura is brilliant because she blends childish joy, near-parental responsibility, hedonism, obliviousness and a genuine respect and love for her job and her students. She raised her sister single handedly, is a decent teacher and is fun but isn't the stuffy, goody-goody woman anime seems to have a predilection towards. She loves life, and goddamn I like that. She's the closest this show comes to a character residing in a morally grey area (no-one goddamn mention Athena. That's a moral bullshit area), and she just radiates irresponsibility and childishness. Goddamn, I'd love to have had a teacher like Katsura. Fuck, I want to BE a teacher like Katsura!
Hakuou Three Amiga (Miki, Izumi, Risa):
Now, it's over simplistic to de-humanise these characters by referring to them like this, as one group. So let's call them "Blue" (Miki), "Black" (Risa) and Izumi. Don't question my methods! Yes, I get Blue and Black's names mixed up. So we're running with this instead.
These three make up the disciplinary council of Hakuou and are essentially the embodiment of the collective student body of Hakuou. They're rich, young, pretty, easily bored, and couldn't care less about their grades. They're pretty good, when it comes to characters. Blue is the granddaughter of a Japanese PM. I'm not guessing which one. That would be crass. She's the "brains", for want of a better term, of the trio, and comes up with the plans which inevitably end up victimising Hayate, Izumi or both.
Blue also has a rather interesting "will they/won't they" going with Hinagiku (coming up in a minute). I might just be reading too much into it, but, hell, I gotta ship someone! Apparently. It's very subtle, and Blue is always very blase about it, playing things like giving Hinagiku Valentine's chocolates off as a big joke. But I think otherwise.
Black, while probably the blandest of the trio, is essentially the mouth, begging and pleading her way into/out of various situations, and then acting as if she did this purely by the power of her will. She's OK. I don't know what else to say. I'm afraid her co-conspirators are leaving her in the dust in the matter of characterisation. She's the tallest!
Izumi. OK, first off, where does the maker of this series get off with having both "Isumi" and "Izumi" existing in the same area. It's a real pain in the goddamn arse. The other problem being that both are really good characters. I really like Izumi. She's the innocent of the three, often ending up the butt of their pranks, and also seems to be carting around fanservice duty most of the time.
She's the only one of the trio to be a romantic interest to Hayate (a poor fate for a character, if there ever was one), and it's played well. Izumi is rather passive, just letting things go, and being, well, a child. She seems to end up in a lot of situations she doesn't want to be, but her general optimism and resilience make her very likable. I'm going to go ahead and give her position 5 on my top characters list, because why not. She also has a brother. Who is also in love with Hayate. 'Nuff said.
The three together have a close relationship with Katsura, which is great, because they all seem to act like 12 year olds. Overall, the group presents a nice idea of how exactly Hakuou operates, full of childish pranks and silly games. The three are pretty damn good.
Hinagiku Katsura:
Student president, Kendo champion, star pupil, popular amongst boys and girls alike. Shining sister, obscuring the dark presence of a drunken teacher, and a strong, stubborn personality. If I was a more cynical man, I'd call her a Mary-Sue, but as is I'll admit why Hina has a decent following (according to popularity votes in the manga). She's an interesting character, easily handling her various duties, but troubled by her infatuation with a recently arrived butler who is generally lacking in personality and distinctive traits beyond being one of the less than a half-dozen male students in the entire school, apparently.
I have to admit, I don't consider Hina one of my favourite characters. Sure, I can find myself a little invested in her pursuit of Hayate, despite the fact she seemingly always ends up in some way abusing the poor bastard. But at the end of the day, she seems to have everything down. She has good grades, a happy family and a good position at the school. So...why do I care about her? I mean, beyond Hayate and dealing with her inexplicably awesome sister, she doesn't have any problems. I mean, good for her! Not many of my favourite characters have "real" problems. The issue is that Hina is played as having these issues. Hayate is a BIG issue, apparently. And...well...he isn't. If there's one thing Hayate isn't, it's "important".
Hina just seems to fall apart when dealing with Hayate, and I get why. Sure, it's nerves, young love, whatever. But it just ends up a one-way conversation. Hayate is essentially Mariel, and ends up just doing what makes the most people happy. He isn't a character. Watching a reasonably developed character stress about ONLY dealing with Hayate is like losing sleep over opening a door. Sure, the door might be stubborn, but it's not going to care.
I'm sorry. I'm tired and I can physically feel my explanations make less and less sense (2:15. Blame the time). I just...don't really care about Hina. I don't dislike Hina. I don't resent her presence on the show. I don't even have a problem understanding her popularity. I just...don't feel much empathy for her. None of her problems represent any of my problems. Let's look at my favourite characters so far:
5th - Izumi:
I can empathise with ending up the unintentional butt of jokes, attempting to keep a positive outlook, dealing with rather...unique siblings and dealing with the many burdens of being the cute one in my group of friends. For the record, I'm ALWAYS the cute one, no matter the friends.
4th - Maria:
Attempting to be the voice of reason, dealing with the fact you don't have much life lived by some people's standards and intense boredom.
3rd - Isumi:
Not having an interest in relationships, having a small, intimate group of friends, dressing in an inappropriate style that you feel more comfortable in.
2nd - Katsura:
Balancing a love of education & responsibility with the lighter sides of life. Sure, I don't drink, gamble or the like, but I can empathise with the urge.
Hina? I just can't follow. Sure, I have a sister who reminds me a bit of Katsura, but I also have a sister who reminds me of Hina. I just don't get the family affair issues. Hayate? I'm not much of a romantic, so that's not really a concern of mine. Hina just moves in a different circle to me, and I can't follow.
That ended up being more personal than I intended, but 2:30. Also, I intend to explain exactly where I'm coming from to the best of my ability.
Overall, Hina's alright. She has everything together. School isn't a massive "School Rumble-esque" series of misadventures. Most of life is just getting work done. That's an admirable attitude I respect. When that harsh mask lifts, however, I feel less sympathetic towards her Hayate-hunt.
OK. Sleep is needed. I don't know what banner to class the rest of the cast under, so I'll probably just do an "Others" post next, and maybe a separate conclusions post. I'll get Hayate done soonish, I guess. Then onto the rest of the maid-list.
Thanks for reading.
H. Rourke
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