Well, I'm going to try and review a CD which contains the best songs ever written (according to young Australians, anyway). To start with, I like Triple J. Although I don't listen to it as much as I used to, I still dedicate Australia Day to finding out the Hottest 100 of the year. A quick rage first. I detest Tom & Alex. This comment will make no sense to anyone unfamiliar with Triple J, but Tom Ballard and Alex Dyson are like Hamish & Andy, with every ounce of humor, entertainment and charisma drained out, with the addition of high, whiny voices. I have nothing against the two men personally, but I have no desire to wake up to them every weekday morning and listening to them vent their first world problems to the country (This blog doesn't do that because...ahem...never mind, last point revoked).
Robert Buck, Lyndsay "The Doctor" McDougall & Marieke Hardy were the previous hosts and it was a pleasure to wake up at six every morning, just to listen to their chatter. They had charisma, chemistry, humor and anything else you could want in a group of radio show hosts. Now Hardy and Buck have moved on to other pursuits and The Doctor is left on his lonesome, now hosting the afternoon show. As much as I like the man, there should be a rule in radio that you should not allow a man (or anyone) to host a show on his own, as the loneliness and desperation begin to seep through by the end of the second hour of the show. A former weekend morning host, Sam Simmons, had this problem. He is a decent comedian, but during the show he would make the newsreader join the show even, just to come up with something to say. Anyway...
It's getting closer to Hottest 100 time, and I check the website every week to see if voting has begun. For those that are not familiar with the Hottest 100, it is a music poll which consists of people going online and voting for their favourite music released that year. The final result is a list of 100 songs, read out on Australia Day. Voting is not restricted to Australians in any way, but seeing as the poll is hosted by an Australian radio station, it's normally Australians who make up the majority of the voters. I can't say I always agree with the songs or their positions, but I acknowledge that they give a fair reflection of the best music of the year. The winners from the previous three years have been Big Jet Plane by Angus & Julia Stone, Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons and Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon. The fact that the three groups were respectively Australian, British and American should give a good idea of just how varied the list is.
Between the 2008 and 2009 polls, Triple J held a poll for the greatest songs of all time, which removed the usual convention of the songs having been released in the same year the polls occur. Triple J held similar polls in 1989 and 1999, and it will probably occur in 2019. I'm not even going to bother giving spoilers to this, but Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit wins. Both in 1999 and 2009 this song topped the list. This depresses me greatly. Not because the song is bad (which it is, but I'll go into why later) but because the majority of the voters haven't gotten over their nostalgia for the 90's. Music from the 90's was OK (at best), but I don't feel that it should have made up 4 of the top 5 on the list (the other song having been released in the 80's). In fact, the first song to be released after 1999 (and interestingly, the highest placing Australian song) was at position 17. The song was The Nosebleed Section by The Hilltop Hoods, but still, I may be open to the idea that the best 16 songs of all time were released in the 20th Century, but I downright refuse to believe that 11 of the 16 best songs of all time were released in the 1990's. For God's sake people, let go of music just because you grew up with it and open your mind to a new era of great music. Moving on...
After the revelation of the Hottest 100 of All Time, Triple J released a two-disc compelation album with some of the songs from the list included. What I must say is strange is that they don't include the Top 36 songs, they pick 36 songs from the list and include them. I am not one to argue against the fact that people are idiots, but if you are going to let them vote for their favourite songs, just put the highest ranked songs on the bloody CD's. Perhaps they just couldn't get licensing for all the songs, or something like that, but it really draws away from the concept of voting for the best music.
Anyway, going on to the goddamn review. I'll probably break this up into two parts (especially after just spending 850 words in a series of rants), like the two different CD's.
1. (Positions 1) Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
I don't like this song. Just putting it out there, but I really don't like this song. When Triple J had this dramatic reveal of the Top Song in July, 2009, I thought it would be something revolutionary which I never even considered consciously as a good song. Well, the second part is true. Smells Like Teen Spirit may have the emotion impact of a dying relative, but it just doesn't turn raw emotion into a good song. A good allegory for this song is a friend shouting nonsensically whilst crying. You know they are emotional and what they are saying is probably important (at least to them), but it isn't very nice to listen to. Poor vocals, general "noise", nonsensical lyrics and generally an unpleasant and downright painful song. If anyone actually read this blog, I'd be scared of really pissing someone off.
2. (Position 5) Paranoid Android by Radiohead.
Although I don't know much about this song, I don't feel I need to, just reviewing how it sounds. To say the least, it's a hell of a lot better than Nirvana, but I feel this song sufferes from some of the same problems. Mainly, the fact it seems to rely on an underlying emotion or power which I really can't pick up. Using another allegory, it's like switching into a press conference with a politician talking about an incredibly important issue and referring to confronting it and then ending the meeting without saying what the actual problem is. Despite this, Paranoid Android has better vocals and much better instrumental imput than Smells Like Teen Spirit.
3. (Position 18) Knights Of Cydonia by Muse
I think this song makes perfect sense after Paranoid Android, as both are very unique ballads using very interesting musical techniques. Also very interesting is the fact that all the songs I've mentioned on this disc so far really irritated me when I first heard them. Despite, this fact not having changed for Smells Like Teen Spirit, Paranoid Android just didn't grab me at first (I think I just wasn't paying much attention at the time, to be perfectly fair) and Knights Of Cydonia's music video just really turned me off. I just felt that Muse was making up some bullshit designed to be sold and critically acclaimed. Although I still think this, I now give Muse a bit more credit and have learned to love the tripe and just go with it. Although this isn't the best Muse song I've heard or even the best Muse power ballad I've ever heard, it is by no means a bad song. Another thing this song has in common with the previous two is that the lyrics make no sense. I mean, just what the hell are you talking about? ANyway, not a bad song.
4. (Position 17) The Nosebleed Section by The Hilltop Hoods.
Two things I have to point out before I review this song. Firstly, why the hell did Muse, at position 18, get placed on the CD before The Hilltop Hoods, who placed at position 17? I'm just going to write the whole CD choice as the actions of someone smarter than me who knew what they were doing and move along. Secondly, in my opinion, this song is the best on both CD's. I'm not saying that every other song on the CD is bad (despite the fact a lot of them are), just that I really like the Hilltop Hoods and I don't feel any other song on the CD surpasses this one. Anyway, this song continues the trend of my disapproval upon first hearing. Not dislike, persay, but a respounding "meh". Since then both the song and The Hilltop Hoods repertoire in general has really grown on me. This song is the first upbeat and cheery tune on the CD and really is the first that has made me feel any emotion, which makes me think of the previous three as failures, in that respect anyway. This song contains a flute throughout the song (which is less annoying than it sounds) and some of the best rhyming of the Hilltop Hoods career (so far. They just released a new single which could mean a new album. Who knows?). Despite the fact that I feel the Hilltop Hoods have made better songs, I can see why this song is popular, mainly because it is a good way of introducing people into the work of the Hilltop Hoods and Aussie Hip-Hop in general. This song was actually one of three which really got me interested in the work of the HH (the other two being Still Standing and Chase That Feeling). I am surprised (and delighted) by the fact that this was ranked as the best Australian song o alltime on the list. I mean, I get that, but seeing as how many other well known Australian songs there are, I was sure Powderfinger of (shudder) AC/DC would get in the Top 10. Perhaps the general population deserves more credit than I give them. Then I look at the entire genre which is "metal" and place the general public on that low, low standing where they deserve to be.
5. (Position 58) Around The World by Daft Punk
If you have never heard this song before, go on YouTube and listen to it three times. Even if you don't like it. This is a vaccination against liking it in the future. This song is good for, as I mentioned, about three listens. One line of lyrics. That should say it all. Sadly, it doesn't. OK, this song has a good beat, good rhythm and a good overall sound. However, it has one line of lyrics. Very irritating, dull lyrics that mean nothing. Meh. It's electronic music. It holds the very special role of not needing to make A) Sense & B) Any emotional impact on the listeners. And Daft Punk obey these two commands to the letter, yet somehow managing to place 58th on the list and end up on the CD for the best 36 songs. Huh. Moving on...
6. (Position 4) Love Will Tear US Apart by Joy Division.
I really like this song. I feel that this should be numero uno on the list and it certainly had a chance, considering it was voted the best song of all time in 1989. LWTA fulfills one simple quality that can truly make me like a song: it makes me feel an emotion. This song just has deep, deep misery written all over it, and manages to reflect this in a way which does not make me consider it "goth" or "emo" or anyone who just seems to hate life. This song has nice music, vocals that stand out, decent lyrics and you can just feel this song arose from a moment where someone thought "I just really fucked this up". I can really understand why this song was so popular in 1989. Why wasn't it as popular in 2009?
7 (Position 12) Wonderwall by Oasis.
Ah, Wonderwall. I don't know if I like or dislike this song, but I would never use a word more emotive than "like" or "dislike" to describe it. I have nothing against a song just being average. Saves me an impassioned rant or rave. Wonderwall is just a basic song which is enjoyable enough, but not good enough to justify me doing the slightest bit of research into Oasis or looking for more music by them. Just okay.
8. (Position 46) Epic by Faith No More.
Sigh. Nirvana set a very low standard for songs on this CD and Epic just manages to cross on the "not complete garbage" side of that standard, but I would never, no matter what the circumstances, call this a "good" song. I mean, it at least has more of a beat than Smells Like Teen Spirit and definetly makes me feel slightly less worried at the state of the world in comparison, but not by much. Although, I must give credit where credit is due: Epic is one of the best possible one-word names for a song ever. That's all the praise I'm ever going to give to this song.
9. (Position 34) Prisoner Of Society by The Living End.
I enoy the musci of the Living End on the most part. Although they don't really have a style I would normally subscribe to, they certainly have noise on their side, and in a good way. Prisoner Of Society is definetly one of their best songs and of this disc so far, this has the best lyrics (Nosebleed Section is good, but this is still better). Most bands that embrace sond and anger or frustration end up going too far into "metal" territory (if you haven't picked up on it yet, nonexistant reader, I don't like metal as a genre). But despite the fact they might appease some more vocal fns by doing that, I appreciate that they manage to use their instruments in a way that falls more into "music" than "raw noise". Quite impressive for a band that actually had a song called "White Noise".
10. (Position 47) Betterman by The John Butler Trio.
Where would Australian music be without The John Butler Trio? This is the first placement on the CD which makes perfect sense to me. You just can't have a best of Australian music CD or a best of ever CD from Australia without JBT. Betterman is not their best song in my opinion, but it certainly is not their worst and beats a hell of a lot of songs from this entire CD set. A breath of fresh, familiar air like JBT is sorely needed on this disc. The actual song uses the usual acoustic guitar and "groovy" vocals of any JBT song. These guys really have redefined the concept of folk music and mainstream music as separate entities.
11. (Position 29) Where Is My Mind? by The Pixies.
I enjoy this song sometimes and dislike it at others. Although it has a good rhythm and a sense of wonder and weird whymsy that many songs could do with, it also has jilting, irritating vocals. Who gave that man a microphone? As the eighties and nineties taught the music community, anyone can "sing", but I don't really think that they should. To be perfectly honest, I prefer the cover of this song performed by Australian Hip-Hop artist Illy a couple of years ago. Just because a song is a classic dosen't mean you have to like it.
12. (Position 22) Teardrop by Massive Attack.
This song is one of the best examples of instrumentals making people feel an emotional connection to a song. This song is strange (in a good way) and very beautiful. The music video, as a bit of a sidenote will ruin the song for anyone. Although it would have accompanied the song in an elegant fasion if pulled of well, it ends up making the song feel seedy and cheap, which I don't think should be associated with Teardrop in any way. I can't say all Massive Attack songs have done it for me, but Teardrop certainly does. Also, this is the first song I've reviewed which makes me want to go watch a TV show (House, anyone?). All the same, I don't feel a craving for medical procedurals takes away from the power and elegance of the song. Teardrop is the first TV themesong I've reviewed and probably won't be the last, but will almost certainly be the best (unless I find a Fatboy Slim album with the Inspector Gadget theme on it. I honestly wouldn't put it past him, somewhere along the line).
13. (Position 76) Fools Gold by The Stone Roses
This song came into the list on position 76. I swear, Triple J has less respect for democracy than North Korea. Despite this, Fools Gold is not a bad song. If you took a Cat Empire song and took some of the energy out of it, you would have this song. Just because it is a bit tamer and slower doesn't make it a bad song by any measure. It still supplies a good rhythm, smooth vocals and some freaky electric guitar throughout. Relly, do they really need that damn electric guitar? It just seems to really distract from what The Stone Roses were going for. Screw it. I'm no expert in music. I just write long blog entries to myself in the vague hope someone will read these entries some day, who am I to say a band is doing the wrong thing? But again, position 76? What the hell?
14 (Position 64) Blister In The Sun by The Violent Femmes
A happy little tune with a strange name. A perfect bit of life in a rather dull CD. Making someone want to dance is nothing to be sneered at and is probably as difficult as making a song carry an emotional connection. Look at Daft Punk. Despite that song being designed as a song that would make people dance, it just makes me carefully finger the "Next" button on my disc-man (Yes, I have a disc-man. What of it?). A cheery tune with pleasant, if somewhat shaky, vocals.
15 (Position 20) Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes
Possibly the coolest sounding song I have ever heard. A legendary baseline, good vocals, suitably weird (if not once again, nonsensical) lyrics and a suitably bizarre music video. Really, that baseline would honestly improve any bad song by at least a little. I enjoy the music of the White Stripes and concur with consensus: his is the best song they have ever made. I don't have much to say about this song except just listen to it if you don't know it. This song may be truly incapable of review.
16. (Position 21) These Days by Powderfinger
Finally, a Powderfinger song. And not the one I was expecting. Although this song is great and shows just how talented the group is, I expected a different Powderfinger song on this CD. I'm not sure which, but not this one. A slow, sad song about the path of life which has the good music, emotive lyrics and lively vocals typical of Powderfinger. Not quite the saddest song on the CD (Joy Division) nor the most emotive (Teardrop) but very close. A strange fact is that song four, The Nosebleed Section actually uses a line from this song. They didn't sample it but tried to sing it like in the song. It must have been strange when the song they were referencing actually ended up further down the Hottest 100 list than the Hilltop Hoods.
17 (Position 79) Is There Life On Mars? by David Bowie
A true classic and another of my favourites. Contrary to how I expected this CD to turn out, it actually does contain many songs which I enjoy (although I do feel the credit for this should go to the mighty Picker Of Songs rather than the Australian public, especially considering this song came in Position 79). A slow, beautiful melody, charming yet bizarre lyrics and the unique vocals which only David Bowie can do. I enjoy this song because it doesn't set out to just be a sad song. It also sets out to be a good song. With Joy Division, These Days and Teardrop, I think the emotion came first and success was incidental. With this song, I think quality was foremost and the deep emotion just sort of snuck in. This song truly does feel ike it is from another world. Also, I thought it would be longer before I reviewed my second TV theme song. At the very least, Life On Mars was one of my favourite detective/time travel TV shows (both the American and British versions). Please note that somewhere there is probably is another detective/time travel show, and I bet Life On Mars is still better.
18. (Position 59) One Crowded Hour by Augie March
Another sad, slow song. This song has moving lyrics, good vocals and a fantastic melody. My one complaint is that it feels like the song is put on half speed for the first half of the song. I don't know if this is intentional or just the CD, but it does irritate me a touch. Other than that , I think this song really does capture the essence of missed opportunities. I don't really care for any other Augie March songs, but this song shows they have the talent to be much more than a one hit wonder.
Anyway, this is the end of CD One of Triple J's Hottest 100 of All Time and just about all the ranting, raving, reviewing and writing I can deal with tonight. Tomorrow, Part Two. If I don't get around to it, who the hell is going to care? But still, I'll probably do it. Damn my twisted sense of honour.
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