OK, Kurumi, for those who haven't scrolled down/are reading this in the future to understand the mania of H. Rourke, professional super villain (one day...), is delayed. I explain this not at all below, so go read that.
Here, however, the one-man Red Television crew is going to instead take a whack at They are my Noble Masters. What is TamNM (yeah, that's the abbreviation now. Deal with it)? Well, this particular anime has a very..."individual" history. So some, or in my experience most, anime are based on Manga. Hayate no Gotoku or Hanaukyo are examples of this, and I actually think all my reviews so far are manga turned anime. Others, such as Michiko e Hatchin or Strawberry Eggs (we'll get there one day, I promise) are original products of their creators, not actually being borne of any previous media. There's literature, like Deltora Quest or Lucy of the Southern Rainbow (both of which are based on AUSTRALIAN literature, by the way. There are two anime based on Australian books. Enjoy this fact).
There is also, to cut out quite a few I can't think of right now, video game adaptions. These are hardly rare. Think Persona 4, Pokemon, and the like. TamNM fits into this category technically...as it was derived from an Adult Visual Novel. Yep. That's the scripture from which this anime will preach. Brace yourselves.
I joke...kind of. I actually don't have much against this one. It is, again, part of the trilogy of maid anime I never actually finished, so please keep that in mind, in case this became Chrono Crusade in the last three episodes and I never mention it. It's so fanservicey and self-inserty that I can't help but laugh. So, with this all pointlessly admitted, let's get going!
Plot:
A pair of desperate, penniless, homeless siblings turn up in a new city, with nowhere to go, from an abusive home (I think. I may be getting my lousy animes mixed up right here). The brother of the two starts going after work, and in the process earns the favour of a child genius. She invites the siblings back to her place, a sprawling mansion, where they become a butler and a maid for a family of three sisters. Simple enough, right?
Well, before we start on the crux of any anime, the characters, I should probably explain something. This anime reminds me of a line from Ben Folds Five's "Army". "My redneck past keeps nipping at my heels." It is not hard to remember that this anime is from CYOA porn-games. No, I haven't played it (because it hasn't been translated and the fact I know this should end further questions you may have) so I can't say how explicit it was, but I'm gonna presume it was porn.
Now, this anime is actually where I started giving characters stupid names. Well, other than the fact I keep calling Mariel "Blue" and Hamster is always Hamster. I just started naming each character after the fetish they were meant to appeal to. Sure, it's kind of dehumanising, but I don't think those with experience with the show will disagree. That out of the way, let's jump into the quagmire.
Characters:
Player Character:
Yeah, I should be calling him Suzuki. I just want to keep with the blatant harem game theme I'm gonna set up...maybe. Anyway, this is the eyes through which you will be seeing the breasts, underwear and blushing that makes the show.
PC starts off as taking very good care of his sister, taking a very protective stance, and showing decent common sense. After getting to the mansion, however, he becomes an anime protagonist. And that is never a compliment. He basically becomes a character to be fanserviced at by the rest of the cast, and we are meant to be him. Thus why his name is PC. I dunno what else to say about his character, really...
Well, looking at the show as part of the maid anime canon (did I really just type that), it is rather interesting. It actually has a decent amount in common with Hayate no Gotoku, of all things. Just not in the "being fun to watch" way, unfortunately. Well, first off, this and Hayate are the only two of my reviewed maid anime to have the protagonist as the "maid" of the show. Secondly, they are the only two to feature butlers in the main cast at all. Maid Guy does not count because a) He is a Maid-Guy, not a butler and b) I'm not convinced he's even human, let alone a man. Also, the only two anime to have the protagonist be in literal debt. PC break a vase in the first few episodes, so cliche box is ticked. Seriously, why does Japan have 99% percent of the worlds valuable vases? Are museums not a thing on that nutty island to the north? I don't get it.
PC...PC...hmmm. What...else....? Well, he is thrust into the "power struggle" between the three sisters (who I'll cover shortly). The problem is, he's kinda passive. I get that he's a debt-butler, and doesn't have that many options as options go, but he is specifically given an option of the three sisters. And, being an anime and not a VN, it defaults to one for us. If I was trying to wank to this and they picked one I WASN'T trying to wank to, that would be a real git. Which is pretty much the problem. PC can't show interest in any one character, and not for the cliched, Hollywood, lingering sexual tensions way. It's more in the "that's not who I'd pick, I'm not watching anymore" fashion. Harems have to have a Sultan, I guess, and a single partner or even just less than everyone as potential romantic partners would kill that vibe. I feel the character choosing NO-ONE is actually more irritating than choosing someone I wouldn't ship with him. But I don't really feel harem animes are my cup of tea anyway. No-one mention Hayate. My heart couldn't take Hamster being compared to these love-interests.
What the fuck was I talking about? Oh, right, PC. Yeah. He's a character. I honestly can't remember his name, and I can't even remember what he looks like. That's really a first for me. And that's all you need to know.
The Incest Option:
Yeah, we're getting to the taboo ones real fast. PC's sister is clearly meant to be sexualised. And considering we're meant to be PC, I see that as the game - I mean anime- blatantly giving brother-sister incest as a viable option. I'm not the moral police. They're both consenting adults (I guess? I dunno. I'm not gonna chase up the ages. Nor am I gonna even try to find out the age of consent in Japan. I just don't want to know) and what or who they do is their business. So sure, it's a little odd, but I'm not judging them.
Now, the sister as a character isn't that bad. She kind of plays second fiddle in the meat of the anime, as she isn't one of the main romantic interests, but she pops up here and there. In the first episode she really shines. My favourite scene in the show is her being propositioned after PC goes to look for a job. Her response is "No, I have a brother complex." I find this hilarious and so affectionately upfront, I can't fault it at all. Shit like Hanaukyo tries to skate the fact it's clearly a parade of attractive women to be drooled over by being a 'serious' drama. He is my Master by being the weakest attempt at parody I've ever seen. Mahoromatic tries to use actual emotion to cover the endless, endless tits. This? Perfectly upfront about it. I respect this immensely.
The sister is really the kind and motherly one of the cast. She's an expert at knowing the right thing to say, defusing situations and generally just keeping everyone chipper. At the risk of turning her into a bit of a Mary-Sue, considering how good she is at maiding, I'd love for her to be the protagonist for a while. I'd be fascinated to see what this household looks like from the eyes of someone who isn't concerned with the fact they want to put their penis in everyone.
Overall, I like the sister. I'd love to have seen/eventually see more of her in the show. Although the incest angle doesn't do much for me one way or another, I really, really, really like the upfront attitude. You can argue it dehumanises the female cast into their fetish or makes them little more than sex objects, but I'd argue that most anime do that anyway, and this way you know exactly what you're getting into. Also, anime writers this aware of what they're writing are much more likely to have fun with it. So, back to the point, I really like the sister, incest or whatnot aside.
The Dominating Option:
Well, the protagonist siblings down, let's move onto the love interest siblings. The eldest of these is the Dominatrix. I don't mean this in the cartoony way (despite the who "anime" thing). I mean, at no point does she have a whip, she doesn't dress in leather...I think...it's kinda hard to tell materials in anime...and she doesn't have some kind of kink dungeon. She just likes being in control, in every way. She particularly enjoys tormenting the middle sister, and when PC is assigned to her, she enjoys using her sexuality to toy with him. She's kind of an arsehole, come to think of it.
Beyond being just kind of a dick, Dom-sis is the head of the family and an accomplished composer and maestro. I've got to give the show some credit here, but they make her really intimidating. It's really hard, from the anime I've seen so far, to make a young, slim, attractive and scantily-clad woman appear legitimately intimidating without either beefing her up physically or making her resort to violence. Take the kendo girl from Love Hina. The only reason anyone is really scared of her is because she resorts to violence. Dom-sis never has to resort to violence, because she conveys her will and her power in her demeanour. I find her really well conveyed, even if she is only meant to be a one-note character. For intimidating women, she can stand proudly beside someone like Black Lagoon's Balalaika in body language, if not body count.
The Lolita Option:
Euch, I'm not gonna judge what people get turned on by. Everyone's got their weird kinks. That's just humanity. But I just feel so uncomfortable around characters who are clearly designed to appear to be attractive and underage. I think this is a bit of why I never really got behind Nagi from Hayate no Gotoku. If this is what floats your boat, that's cool. I wouldn't dream for a moment of telling you "That's wrong" or "you shouldn't be into that". That's fine by me. I just don't like Loli characters being so prominent. I wouldn't call my self a prude, I just feel uneasy.
Anyway, Loli-sis is the genius of the family and Dom-sis's preferred victim. She also was the one who invited PC and his sister to the mansion after...something...hmmm. Did he prevent her being kidnapped? Prevent a bus hijacking? Give her directions? I dunno. Whatever. She's a university grad, and a prolific inventor. She's always accompanied by a really irritating and pointless robot called DeNiro for some ungodly reason, but let's just call him Nabokov for the sake of a theme.
Loli-sis is probably the weakest of the characters, other than PC of course. She isn't likable like her youngest sister or PC's sister, and she isn't unlikeable in an interesting way, like her older sister. She just manages to be dull and generically irritated at all times, which isn't particularly endearing. She exists, and that's about all I can say.
The Schoolgirl Option:
The youngest sister of the trio is actually pretty awesome and I really like her. While her older sisters are an uber-composer and an uber-inventor she is...completely average. And she doesn't have some (probably realistic) inferiority complex over it. She got her own stuff going on, and she doesn't care about everything else. She has a garden, and goes to school, and she's good friends with her personal attendants. She's just a rich school girl. That's...pretty much it. Yeah.
Beyond the two sets of siblings, there are a ton of other fetishes. Let's cover just a few. Submissive, a classmate of Schoolgirl, is REALLY goddamn blatant. The kind that stops being charmingly upfront and starts becoming voyeurism. There's The Trap, a butler in the mansion, who manages to be more traditionally feminine than the rest of the household. There's the Streetwise maid, who manages to get about an awkward shower scene every episode. Then there's the head butler, a buff military guy who just...is there. He stands out preeetty conspicuously.
Conclusion:
I don't hate this show. It's blatant, fanservicey, cliched and seems to be pretty much a greatest hits of the maid anime genre. But with that said, it doesn't have illusions of grandeur. It's exactly what it claims to be: an anime adaption of an AVN. I can't find it in myself to give it too much shit. It's like making fun of the terrible haircut of the guy who's been poking fun at his haircut for the past hour. It won't achieve anything, and their jokes on how lousy they are are less mean-spirited than mine.
That said, it doesn't have anything to make me want to go back. I wasn't invested in many of the characters, especially the main characters. It's fanservice isn't even really the problem. It just feels like it's going nowhere. It's perfectly possible I just stopped watching at the worst possible time, about ep 5 or 6, and it got much better, or picked up momentum from there. But with no proof that's the case, I think I'm gonna have to leave the review as is. I'm getting tired and I'm either making too little or too much sense. Either way, I should wrap up.
This signals the end of the maid anime arc, at least until I get around to writing Kurumi. Next time, we jump into the animes recommended by my friends. I assure you, not all of them are as good as promised, but the first is exactly as excellent as promised. Next time I humbly attempt to review the one, the only, Angel Beats!
Cheers for reading,
H. Rourke
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